It's kind of sad that what I wrote about 5 years ago is still relevant and in the same exact state today.

I don't even have to think about you to break down. All I have to think about is my life.

Listening to you praise my sister and tell her how smart she is and how perfect she is, makes me want to just smoke the fattest joint and pop some Vicodin and go to sleep. But that still wouldn't even make you notice me.

(My Dad)

It kind of hurts, when all of my life you have told me that I can't do anything right and that I'm just a baby, and then here we are tonight at the dinner table and you are telling my sister that she is perfect and has never done anything negative.

I don't just hate one thing about myself, I hate my whole self.

Just because it isn't YOUR reality, it still is reality.

My Mom said to me, "I remember Michael calling your name, trying to get you to talk to him and you would just walk away and ignore it. And I think that you're going to regret that for the rest of your life."

I crave for someone to hold me the way you did.

You don't need to tell me to be nice to people everywhere I go. I am never rude to anyone. What makes you think that I would want to turn into someone like you?

Thinking about my how my Mother decides to ignore and forget about all things he says to hurt me, makes me believe that I am all the things he tells me I am.