Another day of pretending
another day of faking a smile
another day of nothing but
faking, lying, crying, and always pretending

Im sick of pretending
and
knowing i dont
belong

All the pressures on me now...

Hes dying
hes slowly dying
and all i can do is watch

If i dont turn out okay in my life
then i end up like my older brother
and my family will pretend not to know me
this is too much pressure for me to handle

Im scared to move on...i dont want to have to worry about all the stuff my parents worry about...i dont want to have to think about where im going to be in ten years or even four years...i dont want to worry like that

If my brother and 'his' sister get married...that makes us in-laws...that means i cant tell 'him' how i really feel about 'him'.....

Soon ill be in another new home.
with new people around me.
new streets to wander.
new people to meet.
new places to go.
why cant i just stay with the old??

I cant come to believe
that you weren't meant for me...

I dont want to leave him
but i cant stay with him
what am i to do??