As impossible as it seems to have hope, I still do that he will find out he loves me too.

When you fall for a jerk, there is always the "there are guys out there that have a lot more of what I'm looking for." But this is different, he doesn't have much of that, because he mainly is everything I've been searching for.

And if he never opens up to me, I still have my writing and friends, and hope

I feel like I should wait, I'm not ready to get hurt again, this was the worst time. But on the other hand, I feel defenceless by not trying anything to take way this pain.

It's hard to hold hope when he fights against hope.

"With the time that has passed, I don't feel like I've gotten any better. I've just been struck concently by the horror that this isn't some nightmare I'll wake up from"

Is it wrong to try and replace the one you love when they don't love you back?

IT FEELS LIKE ONE BIG NIGHTMARE THAT IS EATING ME FROM THE INSIDE OUT AS I TRY TO SURVIVE THE REALITY UNROLVING OF IT.

"I carry with every blink regret
so many disappointments lay in a ended relationship when there was so much you held back, and waited for, but then again, it wouldn't be much better to expereinces these dreams, then miss them when it is lost!"

The ugly face of heartbreaks keeps bringing it's stupid face around and toring at me, I'm losing hope fast, because having hope makes it so easy to have crushed hopes.