When I try to live I die more inside, so what happens when I try to die?

It seems like everyone around me is either dead or dying and I'm tired of loosing people

How can you take so much from me and not see it. i cant please you at all...

Do you really love me, or were you too high to speak the truth?

How can something so wrong feel so right?
I can't love him but I let him touch me like I'm his perfect trophy wife. Yet i still don't know what love truly is. So I can't decide if I love him...

Another friend is locked away on the ward of mental play. Waiting for my turn at rolling the dice to see if I'm next to fall in their same plight. With the death of happiness in one game of dice.