Did you know that if you light a candle under the moonlight and you say the name of the person you love 3 times, you will look really stupid doing that. |
I've spent my whole life trying to find a girl with a psychiatric disorder that makes her think she's a woodpecker. |
Depresso; the feeling you get when you've run out of coffee. |
Step 1 - Change your Wi-Fi password to "blowmefirst." Step 2 - Wait for someone to ask you for it. |
Size does matter-just ask Pluto. |
Say no to drugs! Then again, if you're talking to drugs, you're probably already on drugs. |
The only difference between doggy style and reverse cowgirl is who wants to watch the TV more. |
Cop: do you know why I pulled you over? Me: pfft. I could think of like fifty reasons, I'm not falling for that. |
When I said I like it rough I was talking about the sex, not the whole entire relationship... |
When I go to someone's house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors. |