The player always ends up played. When you attempt to play the one who actually cares about you, you're actually playing yourself.

When I see you, I am happy, I love you not for what you look like, I love you for what you have inside.
-Me to the fridge.

Screw soccer.... if I wanted to watch somebody struggle to score for 90 minutes, I'd just take my friends to the bar.

I am ready to meet my maker. Whether my maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Just unfollowed Taylor Swift on Twitter.

Expecting a song in about an hour.

You treated me like a option, so I left you with a choice.

When Harry Styles and Taylor Swift break up shell write a song called, 'I Went In The Wrong Direction.'

How to get over your fear of the dark: As soon as you turn the lights off, start masturbating. No monster wants to see that sh!t. Then stare into the corner and whisper tenderly, "This is for you."

Baby, I know the story. I've seen the picture it's written all over your face. Tell me, what's the secret that you've been hiding and who's gonna take my place?

If your relationship has more issues than a magazine, you need to cancel your subscription.