When a drunk girl in her 20s screams, "Oh my God, I love this song!", you can be sure that song sucks.

This girl is ignoring me like a check engine light.

Boy: Let's play a game, any game, just not hide and seek. Girl: Why not hide and seek? Boy: Because a girl like you is impossible to find.

When your life flashes before your eyes does that include the black outs? That'd be cool. Like your life but with never before seen footage.

Admit it. You get a small rush of happiness when your crush likes your Facebook picture or status.

Don't be stupid, if their ex is still calling its because they're still getting an answer.

Regardless of your age, 10 years from now you'll want to relive your present age for one of two reasons: 1. It was awesome. 2. You wasted it.

WARNING, Do not smoke near gas pumps! Your life may not be worth much, but gas is!

Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony; he stuck a feather in his hat, and called it macaroni... That folks, is what drugs do to you.

Most stoners seem like they're not too bright. But ask them about weed and they turn into a walking Wikipedia.