Boy: Let's play a game, any game, just not hide and seek. Girl: Why not hide and seek? Boy: Because a girl like you is impossible to find.

This girl is ignoring me like a check engine light.

When a drunk girl in her 20s screams, "Oh my God, I love this song!", you can be sure that song sucks.

It's tough when someone special starts to ignore you, it's even tougher to pretend that you don't mind.

Her: Are you listening to me? Me: Trying. But when you talk, your boobs jiggle. It's distracting. Her: Grow up. Me: They did it again!

I hate thinking about what you're capable of doing to my heart.

We just got a fax at work. We didn't know we had a fax machine. The entire department just stared at it. I poked it with a stick.

So far my only real accomplishment in life has been not having kids.

There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.

She asked me for time and distance. I guess she wants to calculate velocity.