How much cocaine does Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men...

I'm not saying you're easy, but when I look up something to do in your town it gives me your address.

I'm not going to stress over you anymore. It isn't worth it. I tried to work something out but you just ignored it. I'm not trying to say I don't want you, because I definitely do. All I'm saying is I'm done chasing after you.

You're like a Chia pet...you're kind of funny looking but you're beginning to grow on me.

Whenever you're feeling down, remember; you're the sperm that won.

When a telemarketer calls, give the phone to the nearest child and tell them it's Santa on the phone!

I think i should tell you what people are saying behind your back.... Nice A$$!!!!!!!

Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know.

It's better to love someone who's far and craves to be with you than to love someone who's near yet doesn't even care to see you.

Even though we're miles apart, a computer screen connects our hearts.