Love isn't blind. It's retarded.

That awkward moment when a rapist picks up a hitch hiking serial killer.

Killer: Turn down that dark road.
Rapist: I was planning on it.

"I like the way this girl operates! She showed me her butt before she shows me her face! Is she a stripper?"
~ Onizuka (Great Teacher Onizuka)

You're more confused than a chameleon in a bag of skittles.

There are so many scams on the Internet now...Send me $19.95 and I will tell you how to avoid them.

I wish that you were here, or I were there, or we were together anywhere.

My day could have been better if I had spent it with you.

In human relationships, distance is not measured in miles but in affection. Two people can be right next to each other, yet miles apart.

I just did some calculations and I've been able to determine that you're full of sh*t.

Forget all the reasons why it won't work, and believe the only reason why it will.