Phone sex; I'll bet it wasn't what that telemarketer was expecting.

[F]orget [L]ove [I]'d [R]ather [T]ease

Minutes=Moments, Moments=Memories, Memories=Time well spent. Every minute with you was a moment turned to a memory I will never forget.

When I close my eyes it's you I see, when I dream at night you are there with me. To have and to hold you for all long as we breathe, that's all I want for eternity.

I have some good news and some bad news; good news is it is not your fault, bad news stupidity is genetic and you will always be that way.

What is the opposite of two? A lonely me, a lonely you.

A pretty girl can kiss a guy.

A bird can kiss a butterfly.

The rising sun can kiss the grass.

But you my friend, can kiss my as*!!!!

Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.

I have many talents, but giving a fcuk is not one of them.

I swear I'll do anything that I have to
Till I forget about you