That awkward moment when a rapist picks up a hitch hiking serial killer.

Killer: Turn down that dark road.
Rapist: I was planning on it.

Dear guys who say condoms are uncomfortable, I've heard giving birth is pretty uncomfortable too...

You wanna be an air force ranger, you wanna live a life of danger, you don't wanna get raped by strangers.

If you leave your children behind, pay your child support on time.

I may be BENT, but not BROKEN, everything happens for a REASON. Because if GOD brings you to it, HE will bring you through it.

Last night I hugged my pillow and dreamt of you...I wish that someday I'd dream bout my pillow and I'd be hugging you.

Wear me like a locket around your throat. I'll weigh you down. I'll watch you choke. You look so good in blue.

It hurts when you have someone in your heart but you cant have them in your arms.

Dear girls: The sooner one of you bites the bullet and becomes my girlfriend, the sooner I leave the rest of you alone. #Takeonefortheteam

Failing only hurts you, hearts only break you. There's no love to save you.