Love isn't blind. It's retarded.

If love was water I'd give you an ocean.

I want to be your favorite hello, and I want to be your hardest goodbye.

Get out of my head and fall into my arms instead.

Forever is a long time. But I wouldn't mind spending it by your side.

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

Boobs: Proof that men can pay attention to two things at once.

New condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she's going to get your paychecks.

Yes, we did share a lot of chemistry, but that was before the lab blew up.

I am intoxicated by the feelings that I fantasize you feel for me.