Okay, what does this dress say to you? Uh...beware of crazy ladies who talk to dresses?

Say this out loud five times fast! 'I won a math debate.'

You traded your iPhone 4 for an extra inch? Hope your girlfriend doesn't do the same.

Dear Dora, how in the hell did do you get that tiny shirt to fit over your big head...Sincerely, thats physically impossible!

Dear 11 year old on Facebook with 'It's complicated.' Seriously????? What did he do??? Steal your animal crackers??

A strong woman is one who is able to smile this morning like she wasn't crying last night.

Live without pretending, Love without depending, Listen without defending, Speak without offending.

Whatever you give a woman, she is going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. So if you give her crap, you will receive a ton of shit.

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.

Every man needs a woman when his life is a mess, because just like in a game of chess; the queen protects the king.