GirlfriEND, boyfriEND, friEND, everything has an END except for famILY

I'm looking forward to your lesbian wedding and my multiple chances of catching a bouquet.

I wish you'd appear in my bed as often as you appear in my News Feed.

You make me want to write bad poetry.

Sharp is your memory, sweet is your name, deep in my heart you'll always remain. Earth wants water, flower wants dew, I want nothing but a smile from you.

We cannot be together, but we'll never be apart, for no matter what life brings us, you're always in my heart. LOVE you!

I have a hand, and you have another; put them together and we have each other.

I think I've fallen in hate with you.

Why would you pay $80 for a bra at Victoria's
Secret when I can hold your ( . ) ( . ) all day for free.

Obesity: When you buy a hula-hoop and it fits you.