How much cocaine does Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men...

I'm not saying you're easy, but when I look up something to do in your town it gives me your address.

I'm not going to stress over you anymore. It isn't worth it. I tried to work something out but you just ignored it. I'm not trying to say I don't want you, because I definitely do. All I'm saying is I'm done chasing after you.

You're like a Chia pet...you're kind of funny looking but you're beginning to grow on me.

Whenever you're feeling down, remember; you're the sperm that won.

When a telemarketer calls, give the phone to the nearest child and tell them it's Santa on the phone!

If your legs open up faster than Google's homepage, you are not girlfriend material.

You were never really mine, it's plain to see, but when you're in love you believe almost anything. I never knew just how far I'd let myself go until I feel for a heart that was too hard to hold.

I'd jump in front of a bus for you...As long as its not moving.

You're more confused than a chameleon in a bag of skittles.