Go back to when cutting was ~the way~,
When cutting made everything ~okay~.
Now theres no more razor blades,
No fresh wounds on my skin.
Now theres just endless pain,
Endless tears in my eyes.
Because I cant cut,
And crying isnt good enough.

It's a sickness in my stomach,
It's reality checking in.
This depressions getting deeper,
And it's dragging me in.

I'll be there to hold your hand when you're afraid, to make you laugh when you frown, to make you happy when you're sad, to make you smile when nothing else can. I'll be there forever for you.

It's not because you left me. Not because you hurt me. Not because you don't care.
I cry and bleed and weep and scream because you mean E v e r y t h i n g to me and I won't ever get over that, no matter how much I want to.

They're there and then they're not. Sometimes I look up at God and think 'thanks a fxxxing lot' and other times I wonder if it's for the best - look at the world around us and try not to cry.
I hope heavens great but I really miss them a lot.

_Im always okay_ Even when im hurting and things are going crazy. Even when life is upside down and im bleeding on the ground. Even when you see these marks on my arms and bruises on my skin. _Im always okay_ Its always the same.

Hurt _physically_ to escape what hurts _mentally_.
Just let us be, let this pain take me away and let my pain save me before i go insane.

The world spins and the ground churns. You don't care that you're bleeding or that the flame burns. You just wanna close off and let things fade away. Don't wanna face it now or any other day.
_Fade away_

Let the rain fall down and wash away my sins. Let the lightening strike not once but twice. Take away this pain - let me begin again.

I smile till my face hurts and laugh until my throat burns.
I fake it.
This laugh, this smile, this -happiness- you see. I just want you to smile and not worry about me.