“Wherever I Go” by OneRepublic on repeat in my head.

Tonight is one of the rough ones, where memories of old conversations and unspoken words chew me up and spit me out like a sobbing fool.

“INDUSTRY BABY” by Lil Nas X featuring Jack Harlow is the latest hype song. On repeat.

The Listening by Lights stuck in my head today.

I crave the rush of nicotine, the way it turns my fingertips into a tingling blur of motion. How I can feel it in my toes. Can close my eyes and just be, for just a moment.

I can only hope that somehow I am enough for you to want to come back.

Please don’t become just a memory.

“Oxygen” by Emeli Sandé hitting me hard this morning.

Burn by Banks echoing in my head this morning, filling me with bittersweet smiles. “And you’re living in your mind / and nostalgia holds you in dark places / but I’ll be here just in case you decide you want some help / we can face it.”

"Put the gun in my mouth, it tastes so bitter / I feel so alive here" - No Jesus Christ by Seether.