I can't fall asleep without my arms clutching that pillow. She's the only thing that calms me, holding it to an aching chest and pretending it's her helps... A lot.

Waves of numbness crash at the shore of my heart;
Little does everyone know,
I am the storm from which they were born.

Whenever I feel down, hurt, or helpless, I go somewhere quiet and alone and read the little story she wrote about the first time we meet.

I knew that when I woke up this morning that it was going to feel like the floor fell out from under me.

Don't quite understand why my heart flipped a little at that... Odd, but it made my cheeks warm.

I actually looked it up, I can do it if it is only one way. It's the date that is making it hard to guestimate. Don't know when it should happen...

Woke up to see snow all over the damn place. Hate snow.

Wish I didn't pass out. Really wanted to talk to her longer.

"I swear
Like the shadow that's by your side
I'll be there
For better or worse
Till death do us part
I'll love you with every beat of my heart
I swear"

- John Michael Montgomery

I cannot even explain how happy I am right now. Was so nervous asking... But the reply... Ugh. Made my heart flip.