Me: Behind every successful man, theres a woman looking really surprised

My boyfriend: Behind every successful woman, theres a man pulling the strings.

Women are like hurricames, first then they come in wet and wild and then they leave with your house and car!

It only hurts when im breathing
my heart only break when its beating
my dreams only die when im dreaming
so i hold my breath
to forget

Roses r red violets r blue the softer the bed the harder i screw the harder i screw the more you feel so grip the sheets and start to sqeal

When i look at you, theres nothing i can see nothing but my own mistakes staring back at me

Whever i say something they dont want to hear, they chalk it up to anger and never to their own fear

I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
I don’t believe it makes me real
I thought it’d be easy
But no one believes me
I meant all the things I said

If you think that something small cannot make a difference - try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room

Jack and jill went up the hill
to get some maijuina
jack got high
undid his fly
and said do you wanna
jill said yes and dropped her dress
then they had some fun
but silly jill
forgot her pill
and now they have a son

WARNING! Bi*ch on a diet!