Im going through a really awkward time at the moment... you know... that one between birth and death?

Let me draw you a picture
Let me draw it with a twist
Let me draw it with this blade
Let me draw it on my wrist
If i do it right
A fountain of red will appear
To take away my pain
To take away my fear

Guys were only created because vibrators can't mow the grass

People are strange... they spend money they dont have... on things they dont want.... trying to impress people they dont like

A smile is like make up... it hides what you dont want people to see

Sex is like a game of bridge, if you havent got a good partner... then you need a damn good hand

Quitting smoking is easy... ive done it thousands of times...

If only i could give you my heart... piece by piece

They've found something that can do the work of 10 men.....

a woman

Of course they're naked..... jumping over fire fully clothed is far too dangerous