"Well he certainly whines like a real director."
-from Urban Legends 2: Final Cut

When you start to pull your hair out
To keep from reaching for a knife
I'll laugh out loud once again proud
To say, "Welcome to my life"

Oh, boy. I should probably learn some of this stuff if I'm going to try to do it for a living.
-Dan, good advice

I tried to get the Facebook-Newsfeeder-thingy to say "Lee Beaver is no longer interested in women." but it didn't work, and you can't be in a relationship with Gandhi, or Satan....Facebook is so biased towards my people!
-Beaver

I must be getting old. I'm sick of hearing about young people dying because they weren't wearing seatbelts. Physics is more than a suggestion, people.
-Dan

Every time I went to a park or into the countryside I would look around and into trees trying to find gnomes. I grew out of that fast, then I started doing acid and it became fun again.

Andilicious: You don't need to know what's going on, just join the revolt!
Ryan and his package: Sounds like my kind of logic!
- the p & q revolution

I don't make mistakes. Flaws in myself are science fiction....mere faerie tales...childrens' stories.
-Warning

Goths are depressed vampires who have sex with animals.
- Kevin Murray

I find the word stalker very offensive. I like to call it planned coincidences of bumping in to each other or going the same way.
- Nightmare Fiend, in chat