We might have to drop a D-cell battery in a sock to take care of this.
-Jason

Psychiatrists don't prescribe viagra.
-Kat

I think people first got AIDS from eating monkeys...atleast I hope they were eating them.
-Erin

When she's being a b----, I'm going to be a b---- back. I'm sorry but she's got to learn to be a proper b----.
-CJ

There's been a stabbing, you got a camera?
-Jason

Are y'all dead? Good, cos I really don't have time to go to a funeral.
-MM

The sound of your voice reminds me that I have ears.
-Kat

Do you like plums?
I like plums.

Circular logic: the kind with no loose ends.
-J.D.

Your magic carpet ride gave me rug burn.