It's always easier to forgive the hotter ones...

Guys are like pieces of chocolate- The more delicious it looks on the outside, the worse it is in the middle.

My parents are shopaholics. They can NOT stop....buying alcohol!

They're your back up girls, so tell them to back up!

Love is letting them love another because it hurts even more to see them sad

Don't waste your life looking for its meaning. Let the meaning of life look for you.

I had an imaginary friend when i was little, but he'd always go play with the boy down the street.
Me:Well, I guess I'll see you later then...
Him:Ya, whatever, queer.
Me:Why does everyone keep saying that?!?

~Comedy Central

Never trust what a man says when he's in love, drunk, or running for office.

Love is when you don't want to go to bed because reality is better than some dream.

Little Sister: Your Ugly.
You: And your quite good looking...for a Gorilla, that is...