Do "breaks" really help?

In my experience breaks have done nothing but cause confusion and hurt to one or both parties in the relationship... but my experience with them is limited as I've only put my relationship on hold once before (prior to this one)... and we don't speak anymore, like it destroyed everything between us.

So what are your guys thoughts? Can a "break" in a relationship ever be a good thing? Does it ever work out?

I ask because me and my girlfriend have been on a break since Sunday and I am very worried about this, cause I care about her a lot.

I think breaks are full of sh*t
I tryed a break one time && before I knew it he found another girl && He ended up loving her..&& I was stuck loving him && to this day I cant help it..I love him still && he loves her.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I never called for a break..I bet I would have his love..instead of her

My friends and Family say that breaks can be a good thing..&& breaks determine the love you have for one another..if one of the partners move on then that person obviously didnt give a d*mn about the other one..but if they both end up back together then it was truly ment to be

Hope I helped..[[some atleast]]
-Hugs-

LOL "I think breaks are full of sh*t" LOL I love how you started that post, full of rage and anger. ARRRRR haha I love it. Thanks for the input though, I agree with both you and your family I guess it really depends on the relationship... From my experience they are a waste of time, but I happen to be enduring one right now so... Im trying to stay optimistic. Thanks for the help...

But lets just use a scenario here for fun, sort of a put you in my shoes kind of deal.

Lets say your man, wanted to take a break... and then that very same night changes his facebook pic/relationship status. Then in the ensuing days makes a bunch of coffee dates with a couple of chicks... that hes slept with before.

How would you react?

I have been on both ends of the spectrum, a break can actually tell you a lot about both of you. If you need to step back and re-examine your relationship, you do what you gotta do to figure out where you are and what you want. You have to figure how meant to be it could be if the only one going back is you. Sometimes "taking a break" is just another way of saying "I'll be back if I don't find something better" Every situation is different.

Yeah thats what really sucks about breaks... you never know if its a good thing or if your just setting yourself for a huge let down. I gotta a funny feel im gonna get let down... and have the urge to just flush it before the turd crawls outta the toilet and bites me in the neck. Thanks for the input though.

What if it appears as though the other person doesn't give a damn anymore... by lets say doing the things I mentioned in the scenario above, but tells u the exact opposite?

I would say he is probably looking to hook up and honestly too bad for him if he can let you go that easily, obviously you deserve better than that, if he is on a break with you just to hook up with other girls, he probably thinks he has you on a leash, don't be anyones pet.

Well thats definitely a bummer. Actually Im a dude though... and yeah other then that Im in that exact same situation as I said... like, she asks me to call her, tells me she loves me and wants to hang out valentines day for a bit but then thinks she can just do all these things behind my back. Like I'm not gonna find out... i mean just cause I don't use facebook doesn't mean ALL my friends don't either.

I mean she hasnt DONE anything yet... as far as I know, but shes making all these plans with guys shes been with before... Like "friends with benefits" type guys. I just dont know what to do about it... guess Ill have to wait...

Haha sorry usually it is the girl on the end of this stick, but honestly if she is just trying to figure out what she wants, she doesn't have to call up all of her old guy "friends" to do it.

Its just really confusing. Or maybe not so much... maybe its obvious she doesn't love me anymore and I'm just to blinded by love to see it.

I mean I was all for this "break" when I thought we were actually gonna give it an honest chance to work... but now that she's done all this shit immediately after we broke up, I'm thinking she really wanted to break up but lacked the testicular fortitude to do it...

Im supposed to see her valentines day though... this sucks.

Thanks for the input so far guys, but I need your guidance again. We're still on a break... and she says that she loves me and that were gonna end up together but she keeps lying and doesnt know I know about it....

Like I tell her im worried because I really love her, but she keeps going on "dates" with all these guys and lying to me about it... she doesnt know that I know though... how should I handle this?

She is lying, you are either willing to put up with it or you're not. If she was not doing anything wrong, she wouldn't have to lie about it.

Thank you for replying so fast. your very helpful on these boards.

It seems as though we're both lying to each other... like i know this is gay, but I know her facebook password. and so thats how i know whats really going on. I havent lied... but im invading her privacy... I feel like a deuche... Should I just confront her and let it burn? I mean she wants to hang out valentines day... sooo...

I have lots of options... she playing against the dealer... and doesnt know I know her hand.

I was gonna stop reading her shit... If I hadnt done that for a bit... I would have caught her in the act tonight. It seems like thats the only way I can know what really going on.

Please dont leave me hangin, im tripping out about this.

I think you just need to chill a little. I mean, you have deceived her trust by accessing her facebook thingy (as far as i kno, its something like myspace?!)

So the way i see it, i understand that you're worried about it, but you are at fault also. Are you absolutely SURE she's going on dates and stuff?

If you aren't sure, she may just be talking to these guys to seek reassurance, or confidence. For most girls, its their girl pals, best friends, watever you want to call them, but some girls like to talk to old boyfriends, because they feel that their old boyfriend KNOWS them.

I think you need to bring up the subject, but do not confront her. Like, if she finds out that you accessed her facebook page thing, then she wont be very happy, which is expected. But if you arent POSITIVE, i suggest you leave it.

I am positive she went to the movie with this dude tonight, POSITIVE. Then calls me after words and tells me she went with two other friends and the dude... so... what now... I mean yes I am at fault... she'll be very offended that I didnt trust her. But lol, she obviously doesnt deserve my trust.

Im sitting here refreshing so any help is appreciated.

Hmmm... I don't know my s.o. has my password for things and I don't care if he looks at whatever and vice versa, we don't have anything to hide. No matter how you found out about it, you know she is lying. You're best just to confront her about everything and let her know how you feel, the longer you let it go on, the worse it will get, deal with things as they happen, don't drag it out any longer, if you come to the realization that moving on is the most reasonable answer, better you do it now before it escalates any further.

I don't really see the point to breaks. You either want to be with someone, or you don't. And if she's going on dates with other guys then she probably doesn't want to be with you.

I would talk to her. Tell her that you guys need to either fix things and stay together, or end things completely. That way you can either be happy with her, or start the healing process without her.

Breaks do nothing but cause problems, because they leave too many questions. Does she still love me? Are we still exclusive? Should I call her tonight? They're really useless.

Good luck, and take care.

Alright thanks guys, Im going to confront her about it today before things spiral out of control. In my experience with this sort of thing, based on the last break I was involved in (different girl, though in this way they are the same) she should either a) Try to turn the tables on me somehow and point the finger back at me, or b) Just get angry and say screw it. Either way I really dont see this thing ending very peacefully and I dont expect an apology.

I think I knew what the right thing to do all along was, but its very hard to let someone u love go. Im gonna miss her. a lot.

I don't think "breaks" are a good idea at all...I only did that once and it destroyed my relationship. Well we mutually broke it off so we could try to get our heads together because we had a lot of stuff goping on, but as soon as we went on the "break" all kinds of guys started asking me out. I tolsd them no because I thought that they might have been a chance that we were going to get back together. Well like 2 days after that my (then) b/f asked me if we could go back out. I told him no. He kept begginng me until I ended the "break" 2 weeks later (Valentine's Day of last year), and we started fighting like all the time. For the last 6 months of our relationship I regreted taking him back because of how badly he was treating me. Things happened and I ended up ending the relationship 6 months thereafter. I think that if we never went on the "break" things might not have been so bad...and there wouldn't have been like a million guys asking me out because I actually started liking a few of them and I think that is what helped to destroy our relationship.

I don't think "breaks" are a good idea at all...I only did that once and it destroyed my relationship. Well we mutually broke it off so we could try to get our heads together because we had a lot of stuff goping on, but as soon as we went on the "break" all kinds of guys started asking me out. I tolsd them no because I thought that they might have been a chance that we were going to get back together. Well like 2 days after that my (then) b/f asked me if we could go back out. I told him no. He kept begginng me until I ended the "break" 2 weeks later (Valentine's Day of last year), and we started fighting like all the time. For the last 6 months of our relationship I regreted taking him back because of how badly he was treating me. Things happened and I ended up ending the relationship 6 months thereafter. I think that if we never went on the "break" things might not have been so bad...and there wouldn't have been like a million guys asking me out because I actually started liking a few of them and I think that is what helped to destroy our relationship.

I confronted her. and she continued to lie and just be a be an all around bitch, like everything i said was gonna happen did. and everything we joked about when we were together came true. she always joked and said yeah right u would be lost without me... and now she doesnt even know. Like shes gonna move on and i just never will... i know u guys will think i will to, but im stubborn as a mofo... I just wish she could understand me the way she did when she was around... and already its like shes someone else. This is my fault... but now theres no chance... Im very drunk and I wish more then anything she was here... shes supposed to be. she said she would and shes not. I realize rationally theres only one way to recover from this... but i dont want to... like it sucks so fucking bad.