He's bringing me down

I hope this is the right forum to put this in.

I moved to the US 6 months ago now and it took me a long time to make friends. Now I have a couple of friends and there's one guy who has particularly "latched on" to me. It's not a romantic thing at all, we're just friends. I have a boyfriend who I love very much and this other guy is just someone who needs a shoulder to cry on.

He's been through a lot in his life so far and is often really down and depressed. I was always a really positive happy person but moving away from home hit me really really hard and I'm not myself at all any more. But this guy talks to me about his problems and tells me that if it wasn't for me he probably still wouldn't be here today, even though I tell him that he would because he would have found someone else to confide in.

(I hope this is making sense)

Anyway, he tells me pretty much everything and I listen. I don't mind because I know it helps him and it kind of takes my mind off of my own problems. But recently, he's really been bringing me down. As I said, I'm in about the most depressing stage of my life so far but am trying to stay strong and not resort to extremes such as self harm and so far I've managed. But this friend is making it really hard for me to be positive. For instance, the other day I'd had a really good long talk with my boyfriend on the phone and was feeling really positive and happy which made a nice change. I then spoke to my friend and he was telling me about how down he was feeling because of some stuff that he's got going on at the moment and it brought me crashing to the ground and I ended up in tears.

I don't want to tell him that he's bringing me down because I'm worried that he'll stop talking to me and bottle his feelings and maybe even do something stupid. Then I'd feel like it was my fault and I know I couldn't live with that. I want to be a good friend and be able to listen. But how can I do that without having him affect my own mood?

Help please?

Em xXx

I think you just have to be honest, let him know that you don't mind listening and being there, but sometimes it is just too much and you would rather just hang out and have fun and try to get both of your minds off of your troubles. Sometimes our friends don't realize what is hurting them, can hurt us and sometimes we all need to take a step back and just let go of things and do something fun.

I think maybe tell him that he should talk to someone who can help him properly, like a shrink, but also tell him that you feel like you are taking his burden, and even though it is making him feel better, it is making you depressed. Tell him that you don't mind listening, but maybe tell him some of your problems too, and so its more of a two-way share thing.

This is going to sound weird and crzy bu it works trust me ive helped loads of people who would of got me down before i found this:

before you talk to him imagine a bubble of white light around you protecting you from anyone who would bring you down protecting you from his negitive things (if you believe in angels then ask your angels to keep you strong) just before you talk to him reinforce this 'sheild' by imagining it again...

thats it

he sounds like the kind of person who feeds off people some people without knowing it he has to hang around with happy people to be able to survive , he sucks the happiness out of them for his own uses

believe what you want
but try it

and see

love and light
jamez X