Questions To Ponder

Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the empty gun is thrown at him?

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table, you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

Hmmm!

Why do you say someone is in a movie when they are on tv?

I know its kinda lame but its all i got...lol

I have a whole bunch of those question things LOL
i remember one about chickens.
who was the first person to see a chicken and say i will eat the next thing that comes out its butt?
lol hee hee

xx

What does a dog think when it gets shocked by the shock collar?

Here are some more :]

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?

If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy?

If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant?

If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"?

Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT"

"Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?"

^^ OMG I SO JUST DID THAT

I think of these sometimes...I remeber one about a cow. i forget it, but it upset me for weeks

Here are some.

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

Is there another word for synonym?

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have an "s" in it?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?

If convenience stores are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn on your headlights, what happens?

Why are there flotation devices under airline seats instead of parachutes?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

Why is it that when you transport something by car it's called a shipment, but when you transport it by ship, it's called cargo?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?

What does Geronimo scream when he jumps out of a plane?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there five syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?

Isn't is a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why is the word "abbreviation" so long?

Who do you save when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

Do fish get cramps after eating?

When two airplanes almost collide, why do they call it a near miss and not a near hit?

If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?

Why do they put Braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

When a cow laughs does milk come up its nose?

How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

If nothing sticks to Teflon, how does Teflon stick to the pan?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

What's another word for thesaurus?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Does 'virgin wool' come from sheep the shepherd hasn't caught yet?

When you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my hard disk?

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... Coincidence?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

In synchronized swimming, if the first drowns, do the rest follow?

Shouldn't a man who invests all your money be called something other than a broker?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

If 21 is pronounced twenty-one why isn't 11 pronounced onety-one?

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"

If I play a blank tape with the volume turned up, will the mime next door go nuts?

Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?

Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions?

Why do you often see people ordering double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke?

Why is it that we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and yet leave useless junk in the garage?

When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?

What would the speed of lightning be if it didn't zigzag?

Instead of putting pictures of criminals in the post office, why aren't they put on stamps so postman could look for them while they deliver the mail?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What's in whack?

Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead."?

How much deeper would the ocean be if all the sponges didn't live there?

Why does the sun darken our skin but lighten our hair?

Do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

Why is it that when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not adoor?

Lmao. Lovin the ones above!

"Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?"

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"

Cracked me up.

I ALL of them haha!
Why do we drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?

Yes LISP is a cruel word...

LOL
WOW this is really funny
i wish i couldv'e thought of some of this stuff!

The one about doctors "practicing" IS kinda freaking me out
usually when u go there though, doesnt matter whats wrong, they just give you antibiotics and thats it.

LOL
xx

Hahaha! good point!

Where do the socks go that disappear in the dryer?

If we call the bedroom and bathroom what we do because of what's in them, why do we still call it a kitchen?

Why, in horror movies, does the teenage girl always run TO the scary man instead of AWAY?

Why, in nursery rhyme books, do they always feature Humpty Dumpty as an egg?

Why do girls with curly hair always want it straight, and girls with straight hair always want it curly?