My 11 yr old niece is in LOVE?!?!?!

I need some serious help...i live with my sister and my nieces one of them is 11 and just 2 days ago I caught her outside making out with this boy!!!
She is way too young to be doing or even thinking about having a bf!! This is not the first time she does that... last time she was only caught having a bf...not kissing him... but still...she is only 11! She got grounded for like 2 months last time and did it again...she wont listen!! Any suggestions???
I try my best to talk to her and things like that but she is too young to be doing that... I didnt have my first kiss until I was 14!!
Any one have any suggestions?!?!?!

My sister took all the things away that she cant live without like no music,tv,no friends, she cant even go outside and play... and I feel bad because I dont want her to be doing that at such a young age... imagine she is just kissing at 11...imagine what she will be doing when she is 13 or 14...and she knows better because Im 19 and only had bf's and it doesnt go pass kissing...she knows that... i dont want her to make a mistake... it just really scares me...

Well this has actually happened 3 times... the first time everyone talked to her and she wasnt punished...the 2nd time she was grounded for 2 months then now...shes like under lock down... idk i have tried talking to her...but she just sits there and doesnt say a word....

NO ITS FINE...IM JUST REALLY UPSET THAT SHE IS DOING THAT AT HER AGE...

I know its going to be hard for her to understand and i did tell her that i was just scared for her because i didnt want her to make a mistake or do things because everyone else was doing it.

My sister did want to beat her up but she didnt... she is trying to find other ways so she will learn to understand.

Best approach for this situation is to be semi-supportive. Even if you don't agree... you have to be like you can see him once a week and monitor it. This way, she'll be in a controlled place and she'll get used to it. :P -- not always the best because she might want to lash out later from "restrictions" but it should do for now.

The thing is that we (me and my sisters) grew up where we werent allowed to have bf's until after 17...with me it was different they gave me more freedom but with my sisters...my nieces mom got pregnant with her when she was 16 and she ran away from home. my older sister tried to bring a bf into out home when she was 18 and my dad told him that she wasnt allowed to date him even though she was already 18... she ended moving with him to california... my parents were very strict with them but with me they werent but my sister would let my niece got out with her friends something my dad never let my sister do at such a young age... so we grew up way different... than the way she is growing up...idk. i just want her to understand....

Have you seen kids these days?
I know 6th graders who have like what...10 exes?
It's retarded.
But they're not 'in love' it's all just a whole crush thing.
Don't worry too much about it.

Haha. Talking about myself though....I had a boyfriend in kindergarden. Now that was fun. :D

^^ yes.
But She's Not Just Talking About Them Dating.
She's Talking Abot Them Kissing/Making Out.
The Kids Only Eleven, Thats Way To Young.

I Heard One Person Say, "Take Her To Pregnancy Groups" Or Something Like That.
And Maybe He/She's Right.
Maybe You Should Talk To Her About It, The Risks Of What She's Doing So Young.
Though She's Not Doing Anything Sexual, She Seems To Be On The Path Towards That.
And Also, Do What Someone Else Had Said, And Tell Her They Can Hang Out But It Has To Be Monitored.
I Think That She May Just Be Trying To Act To Old, And Trying To Act Mature.
And Once She Realizes Its Not Really All That Mature, She'll Stop.

I Don't Know If Any Of That Helps.

I think the best thing you could do is talk to the guy...

Okay.
The thing is that kids nowadays are majorly influenced by commercialism. [movies, books, tv shows, magazines, websites] It's all over the place.
Pre-teens think that if everyone else has a boy/girl friend, they should have one to. If they watch some movie where the teens are making out, they want to make out. [same with sex...etc...]
It's all about peer pressure.
Kids now think that in order to be cool, they have to be in some sort of romantic relationship.
They are devastated when they are dumped/break up, but they spring right back up again in the next second.
No-one their age is telling them it's wrong, and their peers are the only ones they'll listen to.

She's not going to be known as a sl*t. [I'm not sure if that word is allowed or not in the forums]
But anyway, she's not going to be known as one if everyone else is the same. Which they are.

Ewww... that's just as bad as watching 2 year olds make out

2 year olds don't make out.
11 is not too old too have a boyfriend. Just as long as they dont take it too far. The youngest mum is what 12 years old? If you try to stop her, she will do it anyway. The best thing to do is to compromise. Maybe she can have a boyfriend but set limits. You cant stop her from having a boyfriend and you don't want to make things worse.

2 year olds don't make out. But they do kiss. They don't understand the concept of making out.

There are younger mothers than 12, believe me. [though they probably don't have sex willingly]

It's true though, you can't stop her from having a boyfriend unless you want to monitor her at school all the time too. But around the house and outside of school you should be able to set certain limits.
How do her parents feel about this?

"Best approach for this situation is to be semi-supportive. Even if you don't agree... you have to be like you can see him once a week and monitor it. This way, she'll be in a controlled place and she'll get used to it. :P -- not always the best because she might want to lash out later from "restrictions" but it should do for now."

I actually agree with that approach. 11 year olds arent naive anymore and they are exposed to a lot with television and other children. But do note at age five it's not uncommon for small children to kiss and the same is applied for 11 year olds. Making out is a bit serious but I think "dating" at a young age isnt all that bad. Simply because, what can they do with a boyfriend? Hold hands in class? I have an 11 year old cousin and you know what, she has three boyfriends. None of it is serious and to be honest with you... If an 11 year old wants a boyfriend they're going to have one.

I agree with that approach and then maybe you should talk to her about sex and the consequences. And have a talk with her about that. 11 year olds may not know as much as you.. but they do know what rebellion is. Maybe not so much the word but they do know the action and it lives strongly in a small child.

Think about it.

Hmm.
^I agree with you.

You really should talk to her, because she will probably listen to you.

I do talk to her all the time...she is really close to me and she trusts me alot...her parents... well my sister is very upset about this... her stepdad is upset also... they just dont want her to have a bf... but I know these days they have influences from everywhere...and i think her peer pressure was from her best friend... she has a bf and her mom lets her... i think she is the one that pressured her to just have one... maybe she does feel uncool not having a bf... idk... but thanks to everyone for your suggestions!! i really appreciate it!!

I totally agree with you 11 is too young to be making out with boys but having a boyfriend is harmless. there's no point grounding or punishing as the more you do this the more she will stick her heels in and rebel. like the others said you just need to talk to her about what it means to have a bf and warn her of taking things further etc. you need to give her a little leeway and maybe have the boyfriend round supervised but set some ground rules on what is acceptable. do this with them both in the room if you show her respect you will gain it back. good luck with this i know it's tricky

Grounding her for it is not going to stop anything. believe me. that will just make her more rebellious and will distance herself from you and her mother. as much as she is young, there isnt really anything you can do. naturally, you need to ensure she understands the whole birds and the bees situation since she does have a bf. as gross as that is, i know ppl who got preg at 12, so yeah.

and 11 isnt all that young. i has my 1st kiss when i was in the 3rd grade. i had a bf and everything, it was quite funny really. lol. times are changing, what wasnt acceptable for the younger people are now common.

I know people that had their first kiss when they were little but these were kids games...and i know it wasnt love..it was just a crush... but this little girl thinks that she is in love and wants to act like an adult...she sees me and she knows i have a bf and stuff so sometimes i think that she wants to follow what i do...but she doesnt understand im 19 and she is 11....

Its not always kids games mind you...ur assuming what i say was kids games. when i was 13..not much older...u may say its a big difference, but its not really, i was ENGAGED strangely enough. i thought i was in love..and still think i was. i think she understands perfectly the age difference, and she just doesnt care. to be honest, whatever a child wants to do she'll do if she really wants to bad enough. nothing will stop her except herself, and all you can do is support her and be loving and make sure she understands consequences that could happen.

because i had a family that didnt support me, and since then ive grown so far away from them we car hardly even speak to eachother. you really want you guys to end up like that?

i know if it was my daughter/neice i wouldnt want that to happen...as much as it may be against what you guys were brought up to do..times have changed alot, even if you're only 19, i'm 17 and kids younger then me are more in the know then i ever was at that age. thats just how life is. it changes...

Just let her make her own mistakes and learn from them
u cant control everything she does but you can be there for her and offer your advice when needed and dont force her to do anything or force your views on her coz that might make it worse
gd luck neways
xx

I dunt know...at eleven, she probably feels that she needs to take control of her own life, and talking to her may make her rebel against you more. I think it really isnt quite your place to say, maybe see how your parents are handling it.

Oh lord wow. No offense, but don't flip so much. i made out for the first time when i was 11, as did many people i know, who didnt know me at the time. She's independant, like it or not, every little girl feels that drive. and as my favorite line goes...
"Love does not know gender, religion, AGE or race... it just knows fate and destiny, perfection, time and place."

I guess it can be true.... but my sister did get really upset about the situation.... she was furious..... but I didnt get involved... if she wants to do that she is going to do that no matter what... but I just dont know how to get my sister to understand that...

Easy fix just take away the problem..... you talking to your sister won't do anything but make her more defiant... mostly the reason being because of her age, she doesn't actually comprehend what ALL you're telling her other than she's not aloud to do something, which.. coming from an older sister, pisses her off because you aren't her parent...

go right at the source.. i'm assuming the boy she's making out with have parents, yes?... go to them.. tell them what is happening.. and if the boy's parents dont do anything about it then the only thing you can do is keep a closer watch on her.

She has 2 find out on her own just,don't let it go way 2 far.she's way too young to making out with some boy.I didn't get my first kiss till I was 15, and I'm 18 and I really don't make out with my bf in public, and I've been dating guy for a yr and a half.