I'm really unsure...

Ok ive kind of tried a differnent style of writing and i want to know if this poem is good or not, im unsure about it... im going to write a few more and i want to know if i should use this style.... please rate and comment so i know... thanx for your time

Its called 'Unorganised whispering'
the URL is.... http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/sad/poems.php?id=238144

I'll look at it =)