Complicated, advice please.

Im sorry this is kinda long. your time and advice is a great help.

Me and my (now ex) boyfriend were 'promised'. Everything elt like it was going great. We talked all the time, and we told eachother almost everything. I honestly Loved him.

Then things started changing. Somthing in me just didn't feel right and i couldn't explain what it was, and i didn't know how to fix it. I tried to ignore it for a few weeks, but it just seemed to make things worse. Everything he did (his little qurks i used to over look) now annoyed me to the point i couldn't stand to talk to him hardly.

I ended up ending things with us, with the hope of working things out, and getting back together. We both agreeded that we had things to work on and that we couldln't just keep pushing them aside, that we needed to confront them head on to make things work.

Every day he called me for about 4 days, he was drunk. (which he has a prolbem with) he would call me at random hours of the night and morning. He would make me feel horrible, and would say anything to hurt me, just to turn around and apologise. He would turn everything i said around so that i was the bad person.

I got tired of being the only one trying to make things work out, and told him i didn't want to talk for a few days. He sobered up and realized that i wasn't joking, and called to say sorry, once again. I told him i wanted to build a friendship not a relationship and that i thought maybe we would be better as friends.

Through out all of this, an ex boyfriend of mine has been talking to me. We had a messy break up and through it managed to stay close friends. While i was with this guy, me and the ex never once even thought of it as being more. He was there for me and i was there for him, and we were good friends.

now that everything has happened with the recent guy, my ex and i have gotten back together. Neither of us really had any intention of this happening. We were hanging out with a couple friend of ours, and messing around having fun with his nephew, when we suddenly found ourselves with the kid next to us and me kinda leaning on him. We ended up sharing a kiss, which lead to a very long talk about how we felt about eachother.

Neither of us had realized that we still cared about eachother in that way untill we shared that kiss. Now the most current ex, is not very happy as you imagine. I know that i hurt him, and i honestly am sorry for it. cause it was my last intention. I have put alot towards working things out with us. But now that its me who is not trying, i am once again getting a guilt trip, and having things turned around to make me look and feel bad. He has even went as far as telling me that if i ever did anything with him besides kiss him, he would stop talking to me for a few months, only to be friends, and never more, because i messed up.

This is comming from the man who has lied, and been caught in lies, but will not own up the them.

The other prolbem with my (now boyfriend) is that, even though i am 17 years old, i do great inschool, am on the dacne team, have a B GPA and am starting college classes this summer, and graduating great with a Acidemic honors diplima, and going to college to be a Radation Theripist, They will not support my decision to give my relationship with my ex a second chance. My parents are very old fashioned and when they look at my guy they cant see past the mohawk and piercings. I am a responsible person, who was always rasied to look past peoples apperences and into their heart, but my parents cant do the same for any one.

I have never drank and never done drgus. I live in a small town where that is an everyday occurence in our school, let alone out side of school. I dont lie to my parents about where i am or who i am with. I am very honest with them, becuase i was told that by being honest i would earn their trust and respect, but that has never happened. I will be 18 this summer. Am i wrong by thinking that i am old enough and trustworthy enough that i should be trusted to decide who i would like to be in a relationship with?

*any opinions would be a great help*
Bianca

You can't go through life liviing it for other people, even if they are ur parents. if u dig someone, go for it man. i mean, yeah they are ur parents, but who are they to decide who u like, its not somethin that can be forced man, u cant help it if u like someone, its just how u feel.

i say go for it.

hope this helps u out man.

You need to sit down with your parents and have a long talk with them. They need to see how mature you are out of just a bf gf relationship. Show them that you are mature enough to ave a mature conversation with them. I know that will help greatly. Tell them how you feel and that you feel you should be trusted more. Tell them "mom dad you raised me this way why cant you follow what you say" it was be a shocker to them but it should help.

Dont end things with your current bf that could only hurt you at this point because we all know to have some to lean on and a should to cry on is very important in our life. IF you did end things.... you wont have that.... and things could drasticly change.

Best of luck and wishes

Colby

Thank you to all of you who took the time to read and give some advice :) Its a help.

I have sat down with both my parents many times and tried to talk to them about how i feel. I have asked why it is that they can ask me to judge people as people and not their apperence, but they can not do the same. I have asked why it is that i am given no trust when i know i have earned it, and havn't done anything to have it taken from me.

the answer is always the same. I am their child, and i am to act and behave as they tell me. I am to act like a 17 year old, i am to act as if i am older, to prove to them that i am mature. If i have time to go and hang out with friends, then i much have time to clean the house once again, or do the laundry that was just done. If i have a B in a class it should have been an A. If i have an A it should have been over a 100% becuase i should have doen extra credit.

If i think i am old enough to make my own decisions then i must think i am old enough to support myself, and not live at home. If i think i can judge someone who i would like to be in a relationship with, then i must think my opinion is better then theirs there fore thinking i a m better then them. And if i question their decisions then i must think that i am smarter then they are.

My parents really are good people. They took me in when i had no where to go, and they have raised me with the morals and values that are (for the most part) lost in todays world. They have done their best to make sure i have never gone without things i needed, and tried to give me things i wanted. For someone on the outside looking in, my life is perfect. I am very greatful for everything they have done for me.

And yet i wish they could let me go. But it seems as if i owe them something, like i am theirs. Sometimes i even question if i should do better then i do, and if i should just let them control everything.... im not really sure anymore