BIG problem!

Hey all!
I have a bf.. we've been together for almost a year now!
I love him with ALL my heart and I'm sure that he loves me so much...
we're both still students, so nothing serious is going to take place anytime soon!
Now the problem is...
he is a smoker & he drinks occasionally!
I tried so so so so much to convince him to quit... but he refuses, telling me it's his personal space and freedom & that he doesn't think it's wrong AT ALL... :s
I hate smokers! I can't imagine myself living with one! + my parents won't agree on him when he makes the big step later!
you're probably wondering why I agreed on him from the beg.!! Well, I thought it won't be an issue! but it is now! & when things get serious it will get in the way!!
I want you to advise me, what shall i do???
I just love the guy so much & I could actually picture myself spending my life with him...
But he's just SO stubborn & hard-headed, it's unbelievable! >.<
HELP!!!

In relationships it's all about sacrifices... If you two are truly in love then you guys can compromise like having him cut back on the smoking or not smoking that much when your together. It is true that he does have his own freedom to do what he wishes but if it bothers you that much then he should be willing to do some changing.
From experience I know how hard it is to stop smoking, you definitly can't do it over night but I'd say talk to him about it some more.

Good Luck with that!

He was a smoker from the beginning, so you went in knowing, it's not like he hid it, it is a personal choice, you either have to accept it or move on. If he wants to quit he will, you can't force him or threaten him.

^ I totally agree!

Its not like you didnt know he didnt smoke...
but you have to sacrifice some things... and if you guys do end up together in your future then maybe....he will quit for you...
Has he sacrificed anything for you? Im sure he has.

If you love him as you say you do, it should be for his faults as well as his virtues. Completely and unconditionally, and yes if you can't come to terms with that together then maybe you shouldn't be?

Just my two cents, but don't listen to me I'm crazy. Take my word for it.

Thanks a LOT! that really helped :)
he hasn't really made 'crucial' sacrifices that i can mention!
I don't want him to feel overwhelmed! that he has to change his life for me! because as i said b4, this is his idea of "freedom"! even if that freedom is KILLING him!!! >.<
anyway, the thing that keeps me really irritated is the fact that it'd be really hard for my family to accept a smoker! :S

I'm a smoker I quit drinking. My fiance he's not a smoker nor a drinker. But when ever he sees me drink when I was drinking it pissed him off because he had a friend die from it. I'm only 19yrs old I've been smoking for about 6yrs in Oct. So its hard for me to stop, and I'm under so much stress with school trying to graduate from high school in May I'm always smoking a cig because it kinda relieves my stress I also have seizures so with that I do smoke because it keeps me from being stress out so it keeps me from having a seizure. But just tell him how you feel and maybe he'll stop. I mean you can't just stop cold turkey well for some, I used to but because I've been doing it for so long I can't do it anymore. And right now I'm not ready to stop yet. I'll stop someday I know I will. But just kinda let him do it on his own because I know when someone tries to make me stop right then and there it pisses me off and I start yelling and screaming to tell them leave me alone about it its my life if I want to die let me die. I know I need to quit and I'm trying I'm just not ready yet.

It would be different if he just started smoking, knowing how against it you are. You knew when you started dating him that he smoked, and you can't expect him to change a habit that he's had since before he met you because you suddenly decide you have a problem with it. Talk to him. If this is such an issue to you, then maybe you shouldn't let the relationship get any more serious than it already is.

I think that the question is: whether your love for him is greater than your hate for smokers. I think, by the way you're speaking, i think you will be able to continue this relationship even if he continues to smoke.

As everyone knows: smoking IS bad for our healthy. So I think it is good to inform him. And also, think, this smoking is not only harmful to his healthy, also anyone who is exposed to his smoking. There is plenty of good articles about the subjects.

I think it is good if you help him to getting rid of smoking. I would help anyone I care for this matter. If I notice any of my friends doing something harmful to himself, it is my duty to stop him in the name of love.

But..if you only ask him to give up smoking because you wanna please your parents or someone...C'mon.. OK. First thing they will tell...I don't like he smokes. Next thing they will tell is "I don't like his hairstyle".. Then it is "I don't like the colour of his shoes.." You got my point? I think it is ridiculous to try to please people. You can never please everyone...

And..yes...this situation happens often.. You met someone. *wow* You think he is sooooo gorgeous. You are in love... And then...suddenly you find out things... Aaaww...I don't like this about him...I don't like that.. In this point...you must find solutions.. Communicate and solve this dilemma.. You solve the problem successfully...your relationship is getting strong..You don't communicate or solve...it is getting weaker.. Remember keyword: teamwork!

Well, this is what I think..Maybe I talk all b*llshit, maybe not.. You decide by your own brain..