My fiance is an alcoholic

I'm 18 and I honestly don't know what to do to help him..we got into an arguement last night that was so bad that I didn't recognize him as him. Can someone please help me? I love him sooo much. And I don't wanna leave. I wanna try to work it out...
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He will only get help when he wants to get help, my dad is an alcoholic, has been one for years, he isn't necessarily abusive when he is drunk but more verbally abusive, which is what you said. the only way you can make it clear is by telling him in intensive detail about what he is doing to the both of your relationship, and he is not only hurting himself, but he is hurting his health, and you also. still, though, he will only get help if he gets out of denial and wants it himself.

Well have you talked to him about it?
I think he will get help when he wants too...
my best friend was engaged at 18 to this one guy and he was 24 at the time he seemed like a great guy and he liked to have fun and drink...but he started getting verbally abusive and violent... later on he started hitting my friends... she got pregnant and he still hit her...then she finally left him and told him that he needed to get help or otherwise she was going to leave him...so finally he started getting help....
i dont know but it seems like he really doesnt appreciate you...
talk to him when he is sober....

I'm not an alcoholic. But I get drunk whenever I feel like it. I'm not an alcoholic because I only drink when I want to, I don't see beer and go "OHH! GIMME ONE" I don't need it at all. Anyway, I'm a very happy drunk. When I'm drunk I'm the happiest person alive. (it annoys my friends). Basically when I get drunk nothing can phase me.

If your fiance is like this (except drinks all the time), then you should be fine. All you'll have to worry about is finances spent on alcohol.

But if he's abusive/angry when hes drunk. He has to get help, or don't marry him. :(

What do you mean you're not an alcoholic because you drink when you feel like it? that's what alcoholics do, drink whenever they feel like it. You may not be, i don't know you, and you said you aren't, but you quite clearly stated obvious symptoms of alcoholism.

First, people with a SEVERE drinking problem can not be helped unless they want to be helped. Sorry sweetie, if this guy has a problem that bad then you have to let him fall and hit rock bottom hard so taht he might see what he has lost and what he had given up to take up drinking. I've been around people who drank a lot, and drank pretty heavy or just plain out didn't care.

Second, if they have a minium amount of problem, an intervention would be your best bet before it developes into sheer emotional weight like your trapped because you love him as his problem could get worse. You really do not want to live your life looking for where your husband might be out drinking or getting called ugly names because he, "just had a little too much to drink." You might even start making excuses like that for him because you love him so much, which is ok love can be a beautiful thing, but it needs to be treated right by both equal partners.

If he is being emotionally abusive, this COULD lead to physical abuse. Usually it's jus ta bit of jealousy or a bit too much to drink and they begin to rant, next thing you know it COULD be a slap in the face. I said could because this is not the case for all, but any abuse is a huge red flag.

You love him, let him hit rock bottom.

Thats a tuff situation hun. First things first, if he abuses you in anyway, leave. Even if he says he doesnt mean it-you're still getting hurt. You have to put your health first; a broken heart will heal but once you're gone you're gone.

Also he's only going to get help if he wants to. If he knows how much it means to you than he should want to.

My ex's father was an alcoholic- his life is really not that great. You have to think about that too- do you want your children to grow up in that kind of enviorment?

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i'd be glad to talk to you whenever.
I hope I helped somewut.

Before he is gonna change at all, he must admit he has a problem. Yes, alcohol itself is not a problem. The problem is in the user of it. Just some hard drugs like morphine can be used for reliefing pain in medical purpose but also can be misused.

One thing I am sure, he should get help after admitting his problem. And yes, you are 18 and you have no experience for this kind of problem so best thing is to let professional people to help and show him support.

For what I know so far and what I have witnessed..is that many guys don't admit their problem with alcohol and they are not changing their behavior. Many of them think "you are still with me so what is this nagging about alcohol".

I have a friend, a guy. He has been dating this girl for year about. He begun to drink alcohol during his army service. Every weekend he had off army he got drunk and bad condition. Every single weekend he promised his girlfriend to stay sober. (the girl wanted him to be sober and then agreed to meet him if i did). Then thing was there was not really a single weekend he would have been sober. But the girl met him still. My point of story is IF you find his drinking habit a problem (if he still keeps it), leave him.

Some people really need to come down to earth by themselves before they are ready to listen anyone..

And future with wanna-still-be-alcoholic-i-am-fine-like-this is not so sweet...it is will get worse and worse.

And...he will stop drinking..It is really better he stays 100% clear from alcohol. Becoming an alcohol has also influence from genes... Just like everyone who has smoke and gave up knows how easy it is to begin a again..

And one thing to add: I praise Allah every day in my religion alcohol is haraam (denied). I have never seen great benefits for using alcohol.
Yes, some people say they are getting happy when they are drunk..but the question is..do I want to be with someone who can become extreme happy only when he is drunk?

I rather prefer someone gets extreme happy because of me and my love's influence...

Tell him that if he doesn't change his ways then you have to leave. I know this sounds really mean but the best way to snap him outta this is to give him a slap in the face with a little reality.