All Cutting Self-Harm topics post here - #14

I get urges so much every day that i go nuts, cuz it's usually during school. >P
i hate it, but then again, i love it more than anything else. and that scares me...alot. it's like some guys trying to give up video games forever; you just can't. and like girls giving up makeup and gossip forever; you just can't do it.

Yea it may be hard to give up things when they become a habit. but if you really wanna then you can. it just takes a little bit of work. if you need to talk about it then pm me k? i am always here for yall.

I don't really care if anybody sees the scares on my legs....i have a hat-full of excuses. everybody that was on spring break on me saw them, and acted like they weren't there. last night i left a bunch of little cuts that looked like i went through a blackberry patch with a tank top on. so it doesn't look obvious or anything. :)
and thanks, but i think i'm going to stick with this for awhile, or until i don't care what anyone thinks anymore.

Hey gusse what i mite eb going to juvy here soon

Oh, and why's that, Miss Death?

I guess that cutting became a way of release for me. I was sent to rehab for it and when I got out the urges to cut were really strong. I found another way tho, one that's less risky but just as painful for those who do it for painful punishment like i do. I burn myself instead. It's not a whole lot better but it works for me. And they can't send me to rehab for it

Well me and my step dad got into a fight about my pit bull Mazy(supposably she attacked him but there are no but marks on him ass hole)and well during the fight my dad said he was going to take all my dogs bac if we dont get rid of her so that night i snuke outta the house and went to my friends house with Mazy so lol right now my friend has her while my dda cools off about it because he will end up beating her so my mom asked my friend Brittanys mom if they could keep her for a week and so now my dad is all mad about me getting outta the house and he si trying to press charges so yea thats why

The poor doggie!!! and he sounds liek a real asshole. well, that's good that you got Mazy outta the house. :P
what are you gonna do bout your dad pressing charges against you tho?

It has happen to me before soo i really dont wory about it and pluse he is not pressing charges lol because my mom convinsted him not to by DOING SOMETHING lol not saying eww but Mazy is also bac in the house too and im happy about that

I dont know wat to do with my life anymore.Even though im really young i cut myself atleast 9 times a day.I NEED HELP!!!!!!!!!

Well, how old are you? i was 15 and 2 months when i started cutting myself, and it's been a year, and i still do. i almost cut myself as much as you do, but only when i can't think, cuz my triggers make my head think, like my brain all of a sudden got really foggy. :P

There's enough room if you make them small enough, and i don't need help from any hospital; it's my way of handling people dumping their problems onto me, my dad's temper, my mom having cancer, and being called selfish if i ask for help. >( .....so who do you go to for help, when nobody cares about anything, but their own problems.........?

No one because you don't want help. Those of us who do, will do anything necessary, including a hospital visit if need be.

I am new to these forums, but I am not new to the subject of self harm. It does not just include cutting. Since I was 9, I have burned, pinched, bruised, pulled my hair, and many other things along with cutting. Mine started because I felt I deserved it. My parents were horrible abusive to me and I felt that is what I was supposed to do because I was a bad person. When I got out from under them, it became a mix between punishment and release. When flashbacks and such from my past come, I get so overwhelmed seeing the blood is like seeing the pain draining out of me. Yes, at times I have wanted to stop, but then it just gets built up and gets worse. If a person does not want to stop, do not force them because you can make it worse for them. I tell my friends who are cutters "I can't tell you not to do it because I'd be a hypocrit. I am not happy that you are going to do it, but I do understand and I am here for you." Sometimes that is the best you can do for someone. Just be there for them to talk to. Many feel they cant talk to others because they will be judged for what they do. As a cutter, who am I to judge? I have reached out to people at this site the past couple of days because I understand and want to be there for them. Don't push someone to do something they dont want to. It will only make it worse, I know from experience.

When you first look at me, you wouldn't expect me to feel the way I do, or do the things I do.

Everyone thinks I'm this perfect angel who's life couldn't be better.
But they have no idea.

I cut myself because it helps.
But while I'm doing it it's like I'm trying to make them feel the pain I feel.

For the few people that know me personaly and know that I do, they don't understand anything.
What I go through.
Like with my life at home.
They just don't understand.

I always try to cover them up though as much as I can.
But it's hard, there is so many of them.

When ever things go wrong that's what I have to fall on.
The blade.

I have a few friends that do it just because,
And I know them welll enough to know that they just want attention.
And I think they are stupid and wrong.
Because there are people out there with serious problems.

Sometimes it gets so bad, that I just don't even want to bother living the rest of my life like this.
Or at all.

Ooooh bless..^^

"atleast it helps me handle my stress."

Honestly if you were handling your stress, you wouldn't need it. It is scary how submissive some of you are to something that is so damaging.

I started cutting when i was like 11 for about 6 months. I started cuz my dad would expect me to be this perfect girl with perfect grades and be good in everthing and everyone else would expect that from me 2. My brother would get these perfect grades and i would watch my dad say all these nice things about my brother. I remember what really got me freaked was when i got my 7th grade report card. I had all A's and only 1 B!!!!! and instead of getting a congradualtions, the moment i stepped into the car my dad started yelling at me. And there were many other small reasons to besides my dad that pissd me off so badly which i dont remember now almost 2 years later. But i started wanting people to care about me and i would cut more and more when people would ignore me and not give me attention. (i wouldnt cut to get attention i would cut because i wouldnt get attention i was like a nobody. Noone really knew i cut.)

"all i hear from others is "the pain will go away"... WHEN?!?!... the fact is that its not"

If you don't believe it will, it never will. Our life becomes what we make it. It is easier to give into something we know then chance change and potentially fail. Life is full of people who fail, feel pain, betrayed, violated, poor, mentally unstable, feel unappreciated and misunderstood, the list goes on. The way to overcome that is not by harming yourself further, but by fixing what you have been dealt. It is still too scary how submissive some of you are.

^^I think it comes with youth, thinking life will always suck, people will never change and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Can you imagine the world lol It is bad enough as it is. they will come to it in time hopefully, who wants to be 50 years old and still unable to find a better outlet for our troubles and fears?

There's always a way out, we just don't always like it.

I started cutting at age 14 when I thought I was in love this guy I was dating for about a year and a half and he broke up with me for someone else. I thought I wasn't pretty, and no one cared about me anymore. I stoped at age 15 when I meet this great guy at took me to church with him and he treated me like a queen and for once in a year i felt like someone cared about me and maybe my life could change and everything would be ok. We broke up and I thought about cutting again. I even put the razor up to my wrest and I just couldn't do it. One day I wook up and realized that it will be ok. While I went through my the rest of my freshman year and half or my sophmore. When I learned at my cousin that I talk to about everything and she was two little kids has cancer and my daddy was getting married again and didn't even tell me I found out from someone at my school that was friends with the lady's daughter. my sister stoped talking to me about my problems and that is the main thing that helped me through everything. My sister is moving out bc she is going to college. MY boyfriend broke up with me and everything just went bad. So I started cutting again last week. I hate doin it and I want help but I'm scared to tell my parents bc I don't want them to think I'm not thier little girl anymore. But in some wierd way I like cutting bc it is the one thing I can controll I dont know what to do anymore.

<3 ashley

It just feels so good to know you have control...

It also gives me a reason to cry.
No one will make a fool of me, No one will make me cry.

Its like my legitimate reason for crying..
(See the blood, this is how it hurts, im crying for physical pain, not mental)

*Thats how i used to feel, i stopped...*

Yes it gives control that I need
and it helps me just not think about my mental pain and think about my physical pain
I started writing poems to help me get my feelings out
so I can try to stop cutting
it helps to write I have slowed down on the cutting
I don't cut everyday anymore
just on the bad days
but right now I'm having alot of bad days

***To James***

I thought you said you tried to kill yourself be4? or was that someone else?
If that was you than i dont think you should judge cutters about what they are doing i mean its good that you are trying to giv them advice but the way you say it is that we are all dum.

BTW i dont cut anymore havent for like a year

I don't think James was saying they are all dumb by a long shot, he pointed out that there are better outlets out there for what ever troubles have driven us down this road. If indeed he has self harmed, who better to give advice to those who are still doing it?

He wasn't rude at all as far as I can see, he was honest and honesty hurts sometimes. there is always an alternative.

Cutting is a temporary solution, in the long run it does more harm than good, I don't think James was trying to be rude or out of line. Help and advice should always be welcomed.

Why do i cut. .hmm well its because im ashamed of me. . dont get me wrong i love myself. . but i feel damaged. . i was raped at a young age and abused for years. . when people look at me i feel that they see this. . i feel ashamed at them looking at me so i cut. . im haunted. . i think of everything he did to me everynight. . some nights i cant sleep because i think he is going to get me. . so i cut. . i want to stop. . people have tried to help me stop. . but they cant be here late at night when i see him in the shaddows. . so i cut. .
i have to live with myself everyday and along with that the comments that people say about me. . i hear it all. . 'shes out of control'. . 'nothing but an emo'. . but how do you tell someone to shut up when your hiding a huge secret. . you dont. . you cut. .
its an addiction. . and its horrible. . any advice i could give would be dont pick up a knife. . pick up a phone. . there is always someone to listen. . you just have to find them. .

James: While I agree with your post, you have to understand that people are afraid of getting help, because they are afraid of the way they'll be treated if everyone finds out.

Personally, I have zero sympathy for the people out there who cut themselves in front of others, merely for attention.

Also, I happen to be a cutter. [ewww. I hate that word.]
But for me, maybe even if other people think I need help, I don't. Even if it's wrong, it makes me feel better. I know, I know, I'm weak, but it's what helps me hold on at the end of every hard day.
It's better than going up and killing yourself isn't it?

"But for me, maybe even if other people think I need help, I don't. Even if it's wrong, it makes me feel better."

It's sad the only alternative you acknowledge is suicide. You may not think you need help and that cutting is helping you, but one day you will be old and strong enough to realize how wrong you are.

James, have you ever been depressed? have you ever felt so bad and down that you wanted to die? have you ever felt like theres no point?

before you preceed to judge and tell us what to do try truely being one of us..i wont ever cut again because i know my gf cares..i know it hurts her too..but if i didnt have her i wouldnt stop..

but cutting was my only way to stop thinking..still now i feel the need..

it took me 2years to finnaly tell my parents and then 4 months and a mental hospital visit before i agreed to see a therapist and psychaitrist..

telling people to talk to people or that they should instead doesnt help us at all. it matters not wether or not you meant it to be offensive the fact is it is not helpful and is taken offensive by some, if you had givien some reasons to or if you had been telling one person or something maybe it would have been more acceptable, but the fact is you vented your frustration about al these people cutting and not getting help. if you do not have supportive things to say for us then dont visit this thread, its mark selfharm, meaning we need help but we are unwilling to seek it else where or we would not be posting here.

i dont think your a bad guy iv read some of your posts here and i didnt expect that you would be the one with a careless statement such as the one here.

and to those who supported james and whoever said those who dont get help deserve no pity, i seriously believe that you should be suspended.. the point of this thread is that you support those who need the support, those who dont get help have reasons..they wont make sense to you, but thats because you just have no idea what is going on in there head..you cannot tell us we deserve nothing, you saying that makes everything worse, if we wanted to feel bad we could simply go and get someone to hurt us, we do not need to get that kind of feeling from a place that is meant to support us.

im in total shock over what im reading, someone venting frustration that were looking for the little bit of help we can get, this thread was suposed to help us. instead this one is showing me that its just as not helpful as every adult i know

What you meant or not is not the point, the point is you were careless in saying that period. this isnt a place for you to be angry with us, this is where we want help and this is how we feel safe getting it

I have seen you say that you have no pity and that you do not care, if you do not care please do not affiliate yourself with this thread, you cannot know how you have made me angry at you, you remind me of wicked clown guy that was running around on this site before

ah i see you have edited your post so that it is a little less "attacking"

Ok i missed the first post of this thread you made, but now it makes me wonder how you lose your temper with us when you are one of us

Cool it everyone or this thread will be locked.

Both of you calm down and no more fighting in here.

[I like your new pic Coco!!!!]
^sorry, that was sorta off subject. lol.

But just to make it clear, just because people cut, or don't cut themselves doesn't make a difference. We all have our problems, some people are just better at solving them than others.
There is no THEM and there is no US.