I just need Someone There </3

In 2 days its been exactly a month since we broke up..&& I still cry over him night after night after night...
I still Love him && it hurts ......I cant get him back...he wont return my phone calls && the last time we did talk he just cried && asked me why it hurt so much....I just wish I knew why...
I mean it hurts more than anything..especially with him being my first love && all..but its even harder when my best freind John wants to be with me && is very aware of how broken I am over the brake up with Shaun....John wants to be with me && I know John will always be there && I know he would never hurt me..Its just I cant be with John If Im still soo much in Love with Shaun....
Its hard...
John hates me for not being able to move on from my first love
&& Shaun wont pick up or return my calls..so We can actually officially close it off..because we just kind of left it..thinking we would come back && talk about it later..but later just hasnt come around yet...
I just need someone to tell me something..I need help...?

I think the most important thing you can do right now, is to just keep trying to reach Shaun, i think what you need is some type of closure. Just let John be there for you it seems like he really likes you and wants to comfort you. Let him be there for you and you never know maybe you'll actually feel much better having him there by your side.

If shaun wont return your calls then it kinda seems like he doesnt want to go through the whole break up thing again. And you should try to move on as well.

Ive tried harder && harder to go on && forget him..its just hard because his best friend always calls me && tells me these funny stories about him && shaun, && im reminded all over again on why && how i fell in love with him..

Ive let John stay && comfort me..Its just hard to let him hold me like Shaun used to without tearing up...&& he knows why i cry && he just doesnt want to let Shaun have me back again....&& thats all I want..Shaun..I just need Shaun

Obviously if he is not picking up or returning your call he doesn't want to talk, maybe that is his closure. Maybe you should not call him and see what happens. If you talk to his friend let him know that you don't want to talk about him. I think you need to focus on yourself and not worry about a relationship right now. It is nice to be in love and have someone, but we have to learn that being alone is okay too.