When is the right time to tell? ...continued

This is a continueation of : when is the right time to tell?

if you dont know what i am talking about check out the other post.

last posts:

author: blacksoulwithn oheart
date: 2008.04.22 22:03

I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you cry :( that is sad.

What was your best day like?

author: sweet escape
date: 2008.04.22 22:18

Its not an unhappy cry i loved her and i love to remember the good times we shared.

that would be the day i found another dog i loved as much as her. after Bearbear we had many dogs but i never got as attached. that is not untill Foxxy Lady. she revived a small piece of the part of me that died with Bearbear. i saw her and even through a glass window i could feel the connection. so i took her out into the "meating room" where you get to see if you like the dog's attitude and i fell even more in love with her. (it was on my 14th birthday) BUT she was $1600 and i had to work off all that money. i never worked so hard for so long in my life but it was worth it and i would never change that day for anything in the world. she is my new Bearbear like connection , cuz not even she could replace her but she can fill a part of the hole Bearbear took with her when she passed. I love her with every phiber of my being and would die in a moments notice to save her life.

Sry blacksoul but it seem as though i am not allowed to answer that question here. i have PM'ed you in reply though. i hope i answered your question well enough for you.

I HAVE NEWS:

1. i have not cut, drank or popped pills today!!
2. i have a wicked stess head ach right now cuz tomarrow i am going to have my drivers test !!!!!
i think i may blow up(my head anyway) cuz it is pounding. but i cnat wait to get the test over with cuz it is stressing me out. WISH ME LUCK. I HOPE I PASS , THEN I WILL FINIALY BE ABLE TO DRIVE BY MYSELF.....YAH!!!!

Thanks a lot

Thanks.

and just so y'all know i have passed and now have my licence!!!

i am now able to drive. and get away form ppl.

i am so excited

No...if i see it is you i will make sure not to hit you, only the person next to you....lol

i am a good driver thank you very much.

and i have more news.....i have not cut for a few days and i also have not drank or popped the pills.

but then again i have been away form my house all day everyday. i just take the car and go. and i dont come back till after dark. when i do get home i go straight to my room to avoid ppl too. so i think staying away form them all is helping. i am feeling a lil' less depressed when i get away.
it may have been i was really feeling traped and now i feel free, but what do i know? all i know is that it is working so i am going to keep doing it.

Mabye.

it seems to me as thought i need to be alone. i crave it. i cant stand ppl. so this freedome really does help.

I thought it was easy.

Nervous does not begin to explain the way i felt.

i couldnt eat for like 2 days before the test .
i felt like i was ging to puck.
and my hands, arms, everything was shaking form the moment i woke up till i got into the car.

Today. i am better than most days. i think this is the first ime in so long i felt almost peacful and mabye even a hit of happiness.

i never knew freedom could bring such pure joy. (if that is what i am feeling) it has been so long im not sure i know how joy feels anymore.

They kinda cant stop me form going.

cuz if they say no....i will just leave.

Sometimes.....it doesnt bother me though

They are fine....my dogs come with me for th fides and love it. i bring them to places where i can let them run and play and still be away form ppl.

I am the only one that takes care of my 2 but the other 2 are under my mothers care. but my dogs are treated like kings and queens where heres are treated like dogs.

Mine are....hers probably are too.

Ok in total we have:

4 dogs ( 2german shepards, sheba inu, australian shepard)
2 cats (both muts)
2 rabbits ( albino and normal)
20 fish ( all fresh water)
2 birds ( a macaw and an african parrot)
1 horse (quorterhorse)

Awesome, i have a bichon frise and a keeshond
and a mutt cat too

do u live on a farm?

No i dont live on a farm but i have 5 acres for them all to run.

i have done the walks and i must say i can get further away with the car.

my favorite animall of all of them would be Foxxy the sheba inu, scooter the cat, and sheena the maccaw

They are MINE....there for i love them more than other peoples animals.

I am doing ok today.

i just got back form a store run for my mom and i saw my teacher there, and he is totaly hot, and he stoped me to talk for like 10 min.

Yes and he has a 3 1/2 year old son, whom he had with him. he was so cute.

How our weekends went.
how i have my licence.
his kid.
monday's class.

Biology.
monday we are discetion sharks.
yum!

No, if you eat it you die.

there is so much chemicals in it you would be very sick.

I have not cut, drank or popped pills in quite a while

but i have talken to burnning candles and the other day some wax fell on me, it burned but didnt leave a mark. so now i have been letting the hot wax replace all the other things.

i have in another post also talked about how my mother may have lung cancer. but we will not know till this friday.

i also have been reading and driving a lot more to get away, to be in my own world if only while it lasts.

We wont know for sure till this friday. but they are think that is what it is.

I dont think it is that big....but they seem to think it is cancer so they are doing a byopsy (sp??) test friday.

42 and she usedto

No

2 days ago.
i was just a acident at fist but now i'm not sure what it is to me.
it is not something i cant stop doing (cuz i havent done it today) but it does help me cope.

Hey it has been to days and i have yet to burn myself. and still have not cut, drank or popped pills.

i think i am really doing better.
but i still feel the want and raw need for the pain.
how do i get rid of the want and need without actually hurting myself??

I have still yet to cut, burn, drink or pop pills.

i think i am winning the battle against my addiction.

now all i have to worrie about is how to become happy again

I have not cut , drank, popped pills, or burned for like a week or more now.

i am tring to be happy but i dont know how to. it has been so long that i cant even imagine how to begin to be happy.

Still have not relapsed.

but i also have not told anybody (other than you guys)

and i continue to be unhappy.

Still no change.....and i have continued to not relapse into my addictions.

Everything is still the same

HEY. Good news

they know
my mom anyway.
but i hate that she knows.
she is always trying to talk to me about it. when i just want her to leave it alone.
she is always watching me. and when i go to my room she come in every ten min or so 'just so see how i am doing' or 'what i am up to'.
it is pure hell

the truth is i wasnt ready to tell her. and she confrunted me cuz she finaly noticed i was acting diffrent.

wishing i could turn back time,
<3 sweetescape

Hey...
it's good that someone knows.. bc if u ever start to feel like you have to drink or cut or pop some pills u have someone besides us on here to turn to. you remind me of my friend that was smoking and cutting herself. she got help and is much better now.

i can relate to your mother.
i would probably be like her if you were my daughter.

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you have wrote your life in pen.
and we forgive you when you say you cannot erase the past.
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here's to the future, cuz your done with the past.
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to get a rainbow, you have to put up with the rain.
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if you ever need anything, i'm here.

i'm glad your doing better.

love always,
mackenzie.

I dont take it as a good thing. and realy only want my space back.

How can i get her to lay off and give me my space back......i cant continue being crowded and never alone.....i am the type of person who needs my space.....and right now i am not getting any.