Rejecting love

I am surrounded by people who love me and yet i'm never happy, i usually push it away and i feel as if i have no right to be sad because there are so many people who aren't loved,

idk my bf tries his hardest to let me know he loves me but sometimes i find it hard to care, i have asked him so many times to stop loving me and he refuses,

first of all i don't deserve to be loved, second, i only end up hurting people who do love me, and lastly i don't know how to accept it because i was deprived of it so long

i want them all to stop loving me because then i might have to love back and i don't think i can, i'm too afraid to get hurt again
anyone else feel this way? or am i jst an insane b***?

Ha ha yeah i vote that one too :)

maybe i'm just depressed but i hate giving emotions labels like that, i mean maybe this really is the way i feel and labeling it is just giving myself an excuse to be selfish or to get attention

sometimes i love myself but it usually lasts a day or two(if that) and i have so much to be guilty for and i cant resolve it cause evryone i've hurt is gone :-l

Gone or not it is always possible to resolve these issues. I know I have felt that way before. You can't stop people from loving you and you can't stop people from hurting you, if you have made bad choices, make new better ones and learn from the mistakes you have made and that others have made. If you wanted no one to care about you you would not have a bf.

I know i want people to care about me but sometimes i wish they'd just leave me alon b/c if they all love me i feel guilty for being sad, if they stopped loving me i'd atleast feel less guilty