Unsatiable Happiness?

Its kind of a weird feeling. A few months ago, everything was turned upside down. I had nothing, I was as low as I could get, and everything I could ever want I couldnt have.

Weeks had passed, and things slowly got better, but now, I HAVE IT ALL! well maybe not all of it, but you know what I mean right? Everything I thought I needed I ended up slowly gaining ground on this "happiness" I had so badly wanted to achieve.

Only thing is, I'm not happy...

At this point in time there really isnt anything I could say bad about my life, or something that makes me feel like im completely ruining a part of someone or something. Yet Im not happy at all. Its not a sadness, but more neutral.

I got the girl... but i dont feel like I deserve her
Got my car back... but dont feel like I should have it
I finished great in track... but i know i coulda done better
I know I matter... but I feel forgotten

Every bit of happiness I had strived to obtain, came a negative to cancel out the positive. I walk around, and everyone says I seem happier and cheery, but I feel just like nothing is there at all. Its concerning, but I feel like it doesn't matter either way, but I know it does. If that makes sense to anyone.

Its hard to understand, but in a nutshell, this is how i'm feeling.

No it makes sense. Cause I do kind of think like that, I'm just so use to the good things coming and going in my life and never having them long enough to enjoy them.

Which kind of contributes to that uncertaintity of how long it will last. But I dont think its just that. I dont know, its just weird cause it's always like this

It's about how you feel about these things, you wanted them, but now you believe you don't deserve them... I'll tell u this, you feel you don't deserve the girl, make yourself deserve her, do unexpected good things that make you feel like you deserve her... but don't go over the top cuz she'll feel that. About the car I don't know how you lost it in the first place to get it back, so do whatever you thought you should do to get it, if it's money pay it, if it's behaivior change that behaivior and about the track thingy, join in another one and train to do better... if you do all these things you'll get the feeling that you matter and that your not alone... and doing these things make you feel proud and everyone else around you proud so you'll be happy and feel like you've deserved it... if you need anything else just pm me.

Instead of feeling like you don't deserve the girl, realize you HAVE her. obviously there is something about you that she likes, or she wouldn't be with you! maybe in your mind you dont deserve her, but to her you could be everything she wants.

appreciate the things you have while you have them. yes, it's easier to assume that you'll lose all the things you have strived for soon, but for the moment they are yours. celebrate your accomplishments, you deserve them.

plus, u have a massively large sandwich in ur picture. what's better then that? (jk=p)

take care