His Ex-Girlfriend

Okay, so.. I am now officially with this guy. He is incrediable but we've fought hard just to be together. We have dated before, we had an amazing relationship... never argued or anything, it was nice and peaceful. But we had to break up because I was stupid and make a horrible mistake.

We lost contact for a few months. And when we started talking again.. he had started dating one of my friends. They had been best friends for a long time and he decided to give her a chance. I still had strong feelings for him, but I thought we'd never have a chance to be together again, so.. I backed off and let them be happy. Actually, she didn't even know that we had once dated. We talked sometimes, but only as friends. I never said anything to even SHOW that I still cared for him like that.

Then one day he told me about how he had this dream that well.. we had sex, pretty much. But ran off before I could talk to him about it. Later he came back online and told me he had to tell her about the dream and break up with her. I begged him not to, and that's when he told me it wasn't just that, he also still had feelings for me. He still loved me and wanted us to be together again. And he just couldn't be with her anymore because she wasn't the one he loved.

So yeah.. he broke it off with her and she was pissed off! She yelled and screamed, called him horrible things, but he still tried to fix things with her. Try to get back their old friendship. I talked to her as well and told her exactly what happened =/ Didn't lie or anything. She has decided to still talk to us both though but has been acting HORRIBLE towards me lately.. she says the most harsh things and I've been trying really hard to just ignore them and brush them off. But she is doing it purposely to piss me off. She keeps telling me I'm pretty much stupid and don't know what the hell I'm talking about. And trust me, she's already pushed her limit.

Today I was talking to her and I said that if he had gotten online before I had, then to give him a hug for me.. and she got royally pissed off, said no, and said this whole remark about how hugs were their thing and I could just deal with it >.< Umm.. excuse me, MY boyfriend?? Don't think so. I blew up on her and omg.. I'm soooo mad. I told her I wasn't going to take her crap anymore either.

God.. I just.. I dunno what to do about it. I wanna be with him but I'm sick of her! She needs to stop and realize we aren't going to break up and she's going to have to accept it.

And you have to accept that she has hurt feelings that are not going to go away in a day or 2, if it is too much, stop talking to her, but don't fault her for being mad, even if he did the right thing, it obviously still hurt her. I probably would have been more sensitive and not asked her to send him any message for me lol

Hi...

Well...Your story sounds very complicated. I wonder what was the mistake you did you had to break up?

So first you were together and then after couple of months we started to date someone.. I think moving from relationship to another so fast... Usually they don't end up well. So no surprise if he tried to use that girl as his "plaster" to broken heart. No, no, no..

And dating best friend...hmm..there is always this risk you will loose your best friend after dating and breaking up.. I think your boyfriend is not thinking about things forward.. :/

And I don't know how clever idea was not to tell this girl you had just had something with him. If she would have heard it...maybe she would not have run to that relationship. If I would hear some guy just had a relationship I would not start dating him so fast. I think anyone who respects oneself does not want to be treated like a door mat to wipe off someone's feet.

I really wonder what was going on in your boyfriend's head...I mean..if he dates someone and dreams about having sex with you.. Does he know what he wants... Jumping here...doing this...doing that.. I think this does not make much sense. If he really had these feelings towards to you I think he would not have start a new relationship or if he did..this does not create a good image about him on my head..

I don't be surprised if that girl was mad, I think any girl would be.. She was been used a plaster. I think it was unfair to involve something she had no idea. Try to understand how she must have felt...

I feel good about the fact you told her what was going on. You did right. But you must realize getting back to him straight away... Again another jump.. Maybe it would have been more sensitive to have a BREAK. No relationships. Just cool down your own head. Think about your previous relationship and what you did wrong. Think WHY you did wrong. Give her time to fit in the situation.

Why she acts horrible... Well, she is doing wrong. It was not your fault or will he started to date her. All blame on him. But again...she still have some feelings in the air.. She needs time to heal them.

I think this whole situation is confusing and all three need time to fit in the situation. What I would suggest is that you all cool of relationship.

If you you and he think and she is REALLY your friend....then...You focuss on approving your friendship with her... And less focuss on dating him as your boyfriend.. I mean...feelings don't change in one night.. If he and you are serious I see no reason why not to have a break time to think everything over.

I don't know your boyfriend but as a outsider he doesn't seem so logical person and he has a lot to learn about relationships..

Probably this was not what you wanted to hear and I have no attention to hurt your feeling by posting an answer...I just gave my honest opinion..

And you must consider as an outsider I don't know everything so I might have draw a wrong conclusion.

Anyway...I see no reason why you three could not get this situation less ackward. But it all depends how three of you act. You: make your own part good. Understand her and if she is your true friend, so her she is. Or if not... Then just stop to think about everything for a while.. Have a break. The rest is up to them. If they fail to manage to do their part, it is not your fault and there is no reason to feel bad for anything.

We all are humans and we make mistakes. We should forgive and forget and learn from our mistakes.

^ lol.. I love your new pic, Auzy. <33

And as for the mistake.. well.. I guess you could say that I wasn't 100% honest about myself. I was stupid and lied about some things that I shouldn't have. But he ended up finding out and he did forgive me. Now I am fully honest with him and I won't end up making that same stupid mistake again >.<

But okay.. as for his ex-girlfriend, apparently she's been in love with him since, well.. forever. She knew he was in a relationship but she didn't know that it was with me. So when we broke up, we both fell out of contact with him for a few months.. and when he showed back up, she started talking to him again and confessed her love for him. He decided to give it a shot while still talking to me... as a friend, though. And I guess those dreams and such just made him remember what we used to have and he fell back in love with me.

I really do feel bad about all of this.. if I could go back in time and tell him to stay out of my life so they could be happy together, I would. But I can't change what has happened. He wasn't going to stay with her if he wasn't in love with her.. and she told him that if he ever doubted her, then to break it off, and that's what he did. But she's acting like it's all MY fault when I didn't even do anything. It just upsets me because she's hurting everyone close to her by acting this way and they didn't even date for a month.

I honestly wish we could. After exploding on her yesterday, I think I've already started. But she's like.. obsessed with him. She always leaves him messages, thinks about him CONSTANTLY, and when I try to just have a normal conversation with her, everything she says ends up being about him. They have already decided to try to fix their friendship, but.. she's still crazy obsessive and in love with him =/

And thanks.. I'm really glad and surprised that he forgave me after I was so dishonest. He is just a really nice guy and forgives easily. So yeah.. I doubt he'd tell her to back off unless she seriously hurt my feelings.

Gah!! Sadly you're right.. *Shakes head* I really love the girl, but she is a..... brat when she's in psycho ex-girlfriend mode. She's been driving me seriously up the wall and her and my boyfriend have already been arguing tons. But yeah.. they decided to try to fix their friendship.

I'll talk to him about it, though. Tell him that maybe they should take a break from talking so much and see where that goes =)

None at all. But yeah.. all they can do is try to be friends when everything calms down. Which is what I hope happens. I'm sick of the way she's acting. She's only making people distant themselves from her.

And thanks, sweetie =)
You give wonderful advice!
*Squishes Auzy*