My friend?

Well you might say its none of my business...

but my friend got engaded to this guy on the interent they never met in real life beofre they guy is like 12 years older than her. she wants to run away with him. and i seriosly think she's insane..

is there nay way to change her mind? calm her? explain something to her?

this is jsut wrong, what hasd happened here??
1. its' not safe.
2. the guys probally a petafile
3. hes going to use her.

&& im really scared and concerned about her.

anyone got an opinion?

Talk to her family about it and voice your concerns if you don't think she will listen to you, you probably won't change her mind, but you can let her know you're concerned.

If she's over 18 all that you can do is keep talking to her, and explaining your concern.

If she's still a minor then she can't do anything and it will probably fade in the next couple years!

I say tell her parents. It may seem wrong, but she'll be thanking you later... this is stupid and insane. She could get seriously hurt. Just like another thread that we've all in talking in, about some 13 year old wanting to run away to some freak she's never met. It's just stupid and she actually needs to use her brain.

Her parents will take care of it. Just tell them.

Wait, how did they get engaged if they've never met before?

If she's under 18, and she's actually seriously considering this, then you have to tell someone. It's unfortunate, and she will be pissed about it. But it's a mistake that could cost her her life, and she needs you now as a friend to save her more than she knows.

Ok well yes she saw him on web cam and talked to him on the phone.

i am condiering talkin to her parents. her mother no's about him being a bf but i dont thik she knows the age or the engagemnt part.

&& I really dont know how they got engagded some stupidness about hes going to die in four years cuz of drugs... :S idk she claims he ocming during the summer to give hr a ring and what not.

Okay.. I really don't understand that.
Why would you get engaged or even consider marrying someone like that? It's just... absolutely stupid. I'm sorry. But your friend really is an idiot.

Yes, tell her mom his age. Tell her what she's considering doing.. the whole running away thing and getting engaged to him. Tell her mom that he is on drugs, and you're afraid for her. Just tell her. She'll take care of it.

^ Omg.. I totally agree with meh Auzy 101%!

She says that she lost her self esteem and confidence in 7th grade. and she cant fix that. she wants love, and this guy gave her "love"

but i will try and talk to her parents.

and she's not 16 she's 15 (even worse)
&& I did feel like slaping her on friday.
she kept singing "we off the the chapel and were going to get married"

I think it's going to far now, I really need to do somthing b4 anythin worse happems

Definatly try to talk to her folks before its too late shes just a baby as far as life experience goes n shes going to get hurt by it people need to be mad aware of what her intentions are because they could ruin her life. all the best with tryin to tell her parents hun, it has gone to far.

Thanks all of you.

Don't thank us, sweetie.
Just take this advice and tell her parents..
Anything to save this poor girl from making a horrible mistake.

Yes. I will..

sometime this week, becuase im really bz with my school projects and stuff..

Do it soon. No offense, but your projects will wait five minutes while you save this girls life.

I agree with jaime usually schools will be ok if its only a day late and making up a good reason isn't too hard she could be in great danger and it's hard to say how soon the danger will really occur

^
I don't agree..
If you know you have a chance to save someone.
You just take it. You don't ignore it because it isn't you.

Yes, I could watch her sit there and throw her life away, but she's my friend and I wouldn't want to see that happen. expecially since she has a lot of potential.

I can.

she's obviously immature beyond her years and has no idea what she is saying.

leave it to "brokenbeyondrepair" to come out with the stupidest thing imaginable mm?

Should I talk to the girl beofre I talk to her parents. See how things are, if she's acually goign throu with all of this and what not? or just go straight ahead and say somthing to her parents.

Yeah..
I think you should, hunni.
But don't let her know that if she goes through with it, you'll tell her parents. That'll more than likely freak her out, get rid of you before you can, or hurry up with the whole running away thing.. before you can let her parents know. And that's not a good thing at all.

Yeah thanks. and yeah I know time is ticking. But I havem't really had the time too my projects i know you said they arent important but im a pracrastinatior (spelt that wrong)... plus i tried phoning her house yesterday like 10 times but no one answerd. and today she was like "my "fiance" i havemt talked to him im 3 days :( " i seriosly am getting annoyed and I feel like slapping her.

Lol well..
She's just lucky that you're her friend and I'm not.
Otherwise I would have slapped her by now, told her parents, and probably end up making her hate me. But that's okay.. as long as she was safe.

Just try to do it as soon as possible.
Remember this is something very important.

I no it's really important. I can't explain how worried and scared I am.

Lol but I already got her mad at me for sum stupid reason. so sh;es on the run to hating me soon. yeah sh'es relly mad she hung the phone down on me 5 times.

but she keeps sining that marriage song and its driving me crazy.

imma try and talk to her tom for sure.

But she keeps sining that marriage song and its driving me crazy.

imma try and talk to her tom for sure.

Even though she's not really the brightest crayon in the box..
And we all have to admit, her latest ideas and actions have proved that fact.
You still have to save her. This is important.
Just let her sing her little marriage song.. because she won't be singing it for long when you finally tell her parents.

Yeah you both are right.

But I am going to speak to HER about it tom. im takin her out to timmy's and then ill talk to her about it there. sso she has the whole weeknd to think EVERYTHING throu

If she gets mad or anything at me its all cool just proves it wasnt worth it. I think she is relizing herself that this boy is not right. she said he was trying to "control" her im supposing that she might just turn around

I really hope so. But sometimes even though we know these things, they still don't change our minds. I really hope it does for her.

If you talk to her about it and she doesn't give in.. that's when you tell her parents. If she can't figure out from you that this is stupid and insensitive. Then her parents will.

Yes thank you.

but can you give me on an idea what to say so I wuldnt sound THAT rude.?

it would really help.

1st off, it is totally your business! You have every right to be concerned about your friend doing this. My friend just recently hooked up with a guy 12 years older than her too! She is 15 and he is 26. It is the sickest thing...and eventually she changed so much, I dropped her because she eventually lied to everyone just so she could be with this guy. Now there are many ways to prevent something like that happening to you.
1. You tell her parents and talk to her about this. She will have to understand. and if she doesnt, then just realize that she ruined her life..you didnt do anything.
2. You can watch this all happen and not do anything.
I think you should talk to her first and if she doesnt listen, talk to her family..they are sure to listen.
Good Luck! I am always there to talk if you need anything else!
With Love,
Loni

Thank you :) && yes it really is sickinging.

but i might loose her, i think it has already started. oowell

hopwfully things go well tom when i speak to her

Mmm..
I say just ease into it. Maybe ask her some questions before telling her your honest opinion about everything she's doing. And if she gets mad, that's her problem. It's not fully possible to bring up something like this and her not getting a little ticked at you. You know? Just try telling her how you feel and most importantly, WHY you're concerned.

Okay thank you ALOT! :)

really aprercait it

It's no problem at all.
Good luck..
Update us asap!

Okay I talked to her today on our way back from mass.

she said that she is going through with it. shes going to run away. she said that she really loves him and she only "thinks" that he loves her. But he makes her feel nice. She got the attention that she was seeking.
she no's that she might get betrayed used and all that but shes "use to it"
she said that sayed that she wished he asked not that quickly but she would love to marry him and she is.
she said she also only said yes because he sounded drunk and she didnt want him to get mad at her.
the only part that she got right and agrees with is that fact that he's trying to contol her..
option now. tell her parents. I will soon do it but i am having this guilt feeling inside.
but I will soonly do it. (doubt soonly is a word )

As much as you all are going to hate me.... there comes a point to where you can only do a certain amount. You have given it your best and have tried. Life does things on purpose and takes sharp turns.

This is a life lesson she needs to go through, you have to realize that and so doesnt she.

Tell her parents... after/if that does not work... give it up and worry only about yourself.

But be there for her when she needs and it when things do go wrong, that will mean the world to her...

Yeha I dont hate you for it. Im here for ur opinion what ever it maybe.

&& thanks your probally right :)

Wow..
I'm sorry. But from everything you've told me, she sounds so stupid. I REALLY have this urge to just slap her myself. Too bad she lives far away.

Yes. Tell her parents immediately.. as soon as you can. Don't feel bad for it. You're doing what's best for her. She could get murdered by this guy, raped, tortured, so many possible outcomes! And how is she going to get married to him, anyways? You can't without parents permission unless you're 18.. and she's 15. She still has 3 more years.

And if they really loved each other, they wouldn't do this. He is just putting her in harms way and if she runs away and he's caught.. he will be put in prison. Charged with kidnapping. Even if he didn't actually kidnap her, her parents won't care. Neither will the judge nor jury. So either way, she's being stupid, selfish, and can't even be with this guy until she's 18. She might as well give it up and stop this madness.

YEAH THANK YOU

I really dont know what kind of friends I hvae right now really..

THAT IS A STUPID THING SHE IS DOING. AND YOU ARE COMPLETLY RIGHT. and me and my frend told her almost all the things that you just said.

I should have just sayed I wanted to move and agree with my 'rents and none of this would be my problem *sigh*

I WILL TELL HER PARENTS SOON BUT I HAVE THIS BOOK FOR SCIENCE I AHE TO MAKE FOR MONDAY SOO AFTER ALL THIS IS DONE I WILL SURLEY TELL them

thank you again! :)