Boyfriend Trouble

I have been dating this guy and i really love him. He decided we should take a break for a day after I got mad at him. I got mad because he went out and did some things he knew I was against completely. Things like drinking and getting drunk. He came back to school with a hangover and tried to act normal. He told me what he did. I got mad. Let me explain why. My dad almost died from being drunk because he fell asleep and hit a bridge. The doctors were surprised he survived. His friend Tony told me that I had no right to be mad. I think I did. My friends tell me to break up with him. But I truly love him. Today was just torture within itself. Can anyone give me advice?

You cannot control him or what he does, if you don't like it, don't go out with him. People are going to do what they want, if those are things you don't like, move on.

I agree, thinking that you can control what he does, doesn't work. if you two don't have the same beliefs, then sometimes you either have to choose to ignore what he does, talk to him about it, or as a last resort, leave him. Maybe you should try talking to him first, see what he thinks.

If he acts mean or hateful when drunk then I understand, but if he wants to get drunk just to have fun whats the problem? And just because your dad couldnt control his drinking doesnt mean your bf cant or that drinkings a bad thing. And falling asleep in a car is different from being drunk and driving. Pieces.

Just walk away.

.Kay.

I dont think theirs anything wrong with drinking as long as you know your limit and you take care of yourself. i wouldnt have a problem if my boyfriend drinks as long as he controls himself and doesnt get drunk out of his mind. (my bf doesnt drink though...i do, but he has no problem with it.)

maybe you should talk to him and just make him promise you that he wont drink excessively and wont make you worry when he drinks. if you get him to stop then good for you your good but i highly doubt he would.

Ok...the thing about drinking is that...you can't take it back. You drink once..you can;t take it back... you drink and get in car and die, you cant take that back. Now you should tell your bf exactly how you feel about this. And if he cant understand that..then he is not worthy of your love. You sound like a great person who could get better. But the only problem with that is that you love him. I guess there is not only one option.
1. You could just lighten up a bit and let him drink and if he gets in trouble, then he does.
2. You could tell him how you feel and maybe he will understand..maybe he wont..
But the thing is, is that if you tell him how you feel, whether or not he likes it, he knows how you feel and if he cares about you as much as you both think he does..then he will understand and do something about it. Good luck!
With Love,
Loni

You don't need dating, think of it like this. if your parents right now said lets go car shopping, i will get you a car under 5000. but if you wait four or five or six years, i will get you the perfect car. the right one. a car you could be with for the rest of your life, you'd probably take the waiting deal. so its the same with guys. just wait for a guy good enough to mary before you go into heavy relationships with drunks. just know i have only your best intrests at heart. and if you need to talk, add my email its

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I agree with some of the posts in this topic, you can not control your partner neither should you try to. The moment you do he will see that there is no freedom for him in the relationship and eventually move on

I see where you guys are coming from. I'm going to make this clear though. I have never and I will not ever control my boyfriend. It just makes me upset that he did what he did.

You say you don't and can't control him but you want to. You may be against drinking, but that doesn't mean he is, even if you don't like it, so you have to choose what matters most to you.

"Sometimes love isn't about how much someone suits you but how much you're willing to change to suit them." If you truly love him it will be for his imperfections rather than how perfect he is for you... he didnt do it to hurt you, he did it because thats who he is and if you love him completely you will understand.

This might hurt a little but it could be true. If he knows you don't want him to drink and he drinks anyway it could be his way of trying to get you to hate him enough that you'll break up with him because he doesn't want to break up with you. My older brother used to get high to piss his girlfriend off because he wanted her to break up with him. And sometimes I try to get my girl to break up with me too by doing things she doesn't want me to do. It's sad but could be true. But don't think that is the reason why and break up with him. You should talk to him about it first.

Girl everyone makes mistakes you cant control his actions only yours friends will always be friends but in the end you say what goes on in your life not them you told him it makes you disappointed when he drinks see what he does if he doesn't do it anymore than he has picked you over drinking if he does keep it up its up to you what you do

Well first of all if you break up with him that would be the worlds stupidest thing to do. Honestly its just a flaw in the relationship. Yeah I understand why you are mad and why you are getting furstrated. But you should just realize that that is him. If you love him you will realize that. Talk to him in depth and make sure he sees how much it bugs you.

You have to talk to him. You can't ask him to stop drinking for you, but you could encourage him to be safe about it. For example, ask him not to drive home after he's been drinking and volunteer to pick him up.

He might change for you, but he will eventually resent you for it. Accept that he does what he wants and learn to let the little things go. If he's not hurting himself or anybody else, then just forget it.

Hey you guys! Thanks for the advice. We made compromises and everything is okay. Thanks for all the things that you said. We talked about it and we decided that he would drink responsibly if I didn't get mad if once in awhile he went and drank. Thanks!