Love Hurts. Commitment Kills.

It takes a lot for me to come out in the open like this..

March 27 2007: I meet Him.
He called me every night from 9-10 until November.
September 3 2007: He asked me out.

I have dated so many guys... Justin is so different. Many of you might now know what a mormon is.. but thats my religion. We have high standards and etc... Justin is mormon also.. I don't know how to explain him.. he's.. wonderful..amazing..charming..fun..handsome..romantic..loving.. everything. I really fell hard for him..

December 21 2007: I move 1600 miles away to Texas.

It was hard.. the 4 months I had to wait to see him.. but on May 3 2008 was prom in Nevada, I flew back for a week and saw him every day. (yes we were doing long distance)

.. we started fighting and stuff in Feb. but who doesn't fight? Every relationship has it. Ever heard the quote: I'd rather argue with you than kiss someone else? well this fits me perfectly. He started getting annoyed over the littlest things. I ended up crying every night for the past 3 months because I was so scared of losing him. You might say that I'm only 16 and its way too soon for me to be in love. And don't EVEN try to convince me that I'm not. I've never felt this way... Like.. I think of him all the time. I'd do anything for him. To make him happy. I just think of him and it fills me with this warmth and comfort. I just..love him. I don't need to prove it..

well to get to the point..

May 16th. He wanted to know if it would be okay to see other people. He told me if I couldn't handle it, that he would stay with me. He still loves me. And wants to be with me forever. But now with the distance.. he feels like he's wasting his life sitting around and waiting for me. (I'm only his second girlfriend) He wants to experience life and have a little fun. He LOVES me. He won't do this if I don't agree. He said that he was unhappy in our relationship. He said all it was getting to is him becoming more and more angry and annoyed... He said that nothing would change but the title of "boyfriend" and "girlfriend". That he'd still love me. That nothing would change.

He left it up to me...

I wanted to keep him.. he's mine. Why should I share? I LOVE HIM. Why can't he understand that? Why can't he stay with me.....

I agreed...because it would make him happy.

June 3 2008: We go on 'commitment'.

Commitment: we can only date other people for 2 months and no going to second base: touching groping.. etc. Whenever I visit or come to Nevada we are 'together' again.

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He did a lot of little changes.. He rarely tells me he loves me.. He still gets annoyed easily.. He changed his password(blocking me out) he changed his 'about me'(it had stuff about me) he deleted all our pictures..

My mom says that Justin is just pushing me away. That really, he is done with me and wants to date other girls and is over me. He just wanted to let me down easy and make me feel better. But really it hurts so much... .and I can't talk to him about it .. because I've already bugged him about it enough.. like ... I don't know anymore.. I'm so confused.. He says he loves me... I feel it.. and I love him...

Everything would have been okay if I would have just stayed in Nevada... but my parents forced me to go..

Me and Justin are PERFECT together (literally). We have so much fun. We NEVER argue. and.. for example:
The week I visited .. I was falling asleep when Justin was driving me home. He was massaging the back of my head with his fingers... He leaned back my seat and I drifted away.. The next thing I know .. He stops. I sit up and look around. We are a deserted street... alone in the dark.. in the middle of no-where. He turns on the headlights, rolls down the windows, puts in a cd, turns up the volume, and tells me to get out.. We danced. Slow songs... love songs... He is so sweet... I cried...

This is how we are.

But he is different through distance..

and now this.. 'commitment'.. I don't know what to do...

Dating other people will be your death. I have to agree with your mother, sounds like he is over it and just waiting for you to get it and move on.

He wanted to know if it would be okay to see other people. He told me if I couldn't handle it, that he would stay with me. He still loves me. And wants to be with me forever. But now with the distance.. he feels like he's wasting his life sitting around and waiting for me. (I'm only his second girlfriend) He wants to experience life and have a little fun. He LOVES me. He won't do this if I don't agree.

that entire paragraph sums him up. if you love someone, you do not want to see other people. i'm sorry he doesn't love you. you love him, but it's not the same way back. i'm not going to tell you to move on, because if you do love someone, you won't want to, but he's trying to with or without you and i don't think he sees it any other way. so don't get your heart too tangeld in this because he sounds like he's pulling away and you're holding on too tight.

I agree with BANGBANG.

If he truly loves you, he would not be asking you if he could date other people. Furthermore, he seems to be dying to date other people. By deleting all your photos together, sums it all.

He's trying to let you go, and you're holding on way too hard. I think you know that this relationship is in it's final stages...

If he wants to see other people, then he really has no intention of spending the rest of his life with you. I'm not doubting that he loved you at one point, but he doesn't now. It's time for you to let go- to let him let go, instead of dragging this thing out any further. It will only hurt more.

Take care of yourself first, I wish you the best.

When you love someone you don't try to push it away. When you love someone you try your hardest to make it work. When you love someone you wouldn't dare think of being with other people.

This is exactly how i feel.. i don't want to see anyone else.. i only want him. i'm willing to do anything to make us work..

but I DO see where he is coming from.. its gonna be a long time before we can be 'together' a couple years. I will only be seeing him for a little during summer .. then MAYBE during some school breaks. for the next year or two. that isn't enough and i can understand why he feels like he's wasting his life waiting. The point it high school is to date and have fun.. he is dating.. but one person whose 1600 miles away.. I miss him terribly. And I'm willing to wait. ..i don't know whats gonna happen but anything that does.. is worth it. For him.

He said he did all those things.. erasing our pics and his bout me.. because he's getting back at two girls whose called him a whore because he's dating me.. but talking to other girls. so that say thats 'cheating' on me. But its not. So he told them that he broke up with me because of them to make them feel bad.

He is my best friend.
He rarely says he loves me... But he still says it. and I believe him when he does. I won't ever let him go. But.. I know that when I'm back with him.. everything is gonna be fine. Just through the distance I know it won't.

Some things I've thought about were:
-If he can't handle the distance, how will he manage marriage when its 10x as hard?
-If he truly loved me why is he not fighting with all his might to keep us together like I am?
BUT
-He would never lie to me.
-What if this is really what he wants. That everything WILL work out in the end. He still loves me and wants to be with me. But through this distance he just wants to be free and live his life. I can understand that.

What if.. What if..

Its driving me insane

If he's really done.. I wish he would come out and say that we are over.
Instead of torturing me with hope.

My sister said the only thing I can do.. Is hope for the best but expect the worst.

I'm gonna be straightforward.

there is NO "best" outcome that can come from this. he is a cheater. he will probably be a cheater for a long amount of time before he matures. He wants to see other people. if you're into that kinda thing, aka "I'm a whore" or "let me date 10 people at once" and you're fine with it just because he 'loves' you, then he's mr dream boy.

If you want someone to respect you and treat you like a human, keep him your friend, and leave it that way.

I also think if you have any self-respect YOU will end it and not wait for him to crush your dreams.

What I am going to do.. Is go along with this commitment thing. I know many of you are screaming in frustration right now.. but I can't just.. "let him go" its not that easy.

Instead of his girlfriend. I'm going to be his best friend. Like before. We'll be 'over'.

But when I come back, if things are different.. I'll just continue on being the best friend.

Thanks everyone for the advice though.