Advice please: Boyfriend family trouble :'(

Okay,

My boyfriend has 3 elder sisters. 2 live away from home and the other still lives at home and she is the problem. She is 25....

When my boyfriend and I first started going out, I went to his house and everything was fine. A month or so later, his sister started complaining and saying really cruel things about me. Not to my face, but to his parents loud enough for me to hear every word.

Eventually his parents got so fed up of hearing her complaining about me, they told my boyfriend that I can't come over anymore because 'they don't need the trouble'. Naturally that upset both of us.

But everytime his sister stays over her friends, his parents invite me in or out to dinner. It's like I'm good enough to be invited out for dinner when she isn't around, but not welcome when she is home!!

I don't get invited to christmas or birthday events, but they still have the nerve to ask my boyfriend if I can drive them all home!! (Of course I say no, I'm not a taxi).

I think the thing that bugs me most is that one of the sisters live in london and has 2 sons and 2 daughters that I adore. They make me feel so welcome in their home, but when her parents throw birthday parties for the children, I can't come. That really stings because the children ask 'when is Jannine coming'...

I'm sorry this is a long post... It's just me and my boyfriend have been going out for nearly 3 years and although it's him who is dating me, not his family...I just want to be accepted....

Why does she hate you so much? You'd think at 25 she'd be mature enough to not go crying about who her brother is seeing. unless you're bad or something. heh. it's odd it would get to the point where you can't even go over when she's there. I don't know. maybe she has a condition.

but his parents still sound nice. don't worry about not being able to go to parties, it's not really a thing for you to go to. it's weird they'd ask you to give them drives back from somewhere I guess though.

and if his sister only talks about you bad when you're not around then she probably doesn't do much when she sees you. it'll be awkward but talk to her whenever you get a chance. just about normal things and maybe she'll start to like you a little bit.

It just puts a lot of strain on me and my boyfriend... He wants them to be proud of him....

You see..... the other two sisters had children really young and the sister who hates me had an abortion at a young age....

He wants them to see that he isn't the ''f*** up of the family''

(Mods - sorry if that ** isn't acceptable - let me know)

Milton - I'm not allowed to go around his house so I never see her or the family... If I ever bump into her in the streets, she gives me a filthy look...

I've never done anything bad to the family... I've always respected their wishes... Not unless loving someone is wrong now...

What you're doing isn't wrong, dunno what to say but by the way you described it it seems that they really do love you, it's just the one sister, it must be frustraiting living like that, why doesn't she like you anyways? I say you should tell your bf how you feel and try to talk to his sister bout it find out why she doesn't like you and try to work it out. I'm sure you'll find an answer to your problem.

I have no idea why she doesn't like me.... She never gave a reason.

The sister won't talk to my boyfriend because as far as she's concerned she quote ''Doesn't have a brother''

It's just upsetting/annoying that my boyfriend's nieces and nephews have to suffer when all they want to do is see me :(

Well it is true that often
a brother or sister would feel jealous of what their
sibling has because they wish for the same happiness.
I assume that you have tried talking to her?
Its not right that you are treated like an outsider
and you need to make your boyfriend realize how
this hurts you.
the key elements to a good relationship
is communication and honesty!!
its not fair how you are being treated
so I really do hope that you can
manage to work something out!!

Shellaine

My boyfriend understands how much it hurts me because it hurts him too.

The last thing any of us wanted was to hurt/annoy anyone - we just love each other.

I've TRIED talking to her - but she slammed the door in my face (literally)