Anorexia nervosa -is big beautiful?

Hi everyone,
It's me, Noor here... I have a friend, a female one. She is 21. I think she has very pretty face, prettier than most of girls I know.

When she was younger she used to be slimmer. When she met her boyfriend she was very thin. She said when they met he admired her so much. He used to call her his beauty queen. There were a lot of guys interested in her. Fine. OK. I try to get to point of story, please be patient.

During this relationship, she is depressed and she gain a lot of weight. More than 20 kilos.. After breaking up with her boyfriend she starts to think about her outlooks again.

She went out with some of her friends. One of them is very slim, fake platin blond hair and latest fashion clothes. She told me all the guys were flirting to this platin blond girl while nobody pay any attention to her. She said she felt down. I totally understand her.

After some weeks she start thinking maybe she is too fat to look beautiful. She were talking about this with her father. Her father said "you looked much prettier when you were younger". (I felt so angry to hear this.)

And when she were talking about loosing weight everyone said it is a brilliant idea.

Now, let me tell what she is doing.. She starts going to gym which is good and healthy, yes. But then...she change her diet totally. She eats tiny meals, low fat, no sugar. She is watching her weight on scale all the time. She is doing more and more sport.

But...what I don't like about this...is all she thinks about is her outlooks. If she goes to a job interview and they didn't take her, she blames her outlooks. Call herself fatty ass. She does not answer when her friends are calling..

She keeps telling me she wants to fit in the same clothes she was wearing 2 years ago.

The girl I used to talk about philosophy and stuff is now obsessed about telling her new diet. She is also "judging" people by outside. Like if we are sitting in a cafe and some overweight person comes she says rude comments..

I feel like I am loosing something on her...

I just post this topic because I wish to hear some comments about anorexia nervose. Is here anyone who knows about it? Has anyone of you been through it?

Good advices are worth of gold...

Thank you for reading this.

What makes me to think she is suffering from that?

I know how little she eats every day! Unhealthy! Well.. If she keeps going like this...I don't even want to think..

She doesn't eat "small healthy meals", or that is what I think if we are talking "an apple is a small healthy meal" (???).

And for your question, am I overweight...Does it really matter?

It doesn't sound to me like she has anorexia nervosa,people with that see themselves as fat even when they are thin.Small meals and excercise is recommended for losing weight. Not too small of course but small portions of nutritious foods(like fruit and vegetables)I believe if a person is not happy with their appearance or any other aspect of their self they should try to change it,As you grow in maturity you come to see that the real beauty does come from within.Encourage her to eat healthy ,excercise and that her real friends will love her regardless.

I doubt she has anorexia nervosa. she does seem to be turning a bit shallow though. the symptoms in usual people with anorexia are not there in her case. people with anorexia only really judge themselves that brutally. she seems to be doing it to everyone else also.

From what you're telling us Noor, she may suffer from anorexia, or she may be just another victim to the vain mainstream, or she may prove everyone wrong, that she can attain beauty...

Again I think you need to find out her thinking, on whether she truly believes the weight she attained now is a good thing or bad thing, you also need to try and see whether going to the gym is prevention of her gaining weight or is she merely trying to lose more weight.

If it is the latter she has anorexia...

The people I know that had or have anorexia only judge themselves harshly, and continuously wishes that they were skinny like runway models that look like sticks. To me, it seems like your friend is insulting other people to make herself feel better. I've never seen an anorexic do that. But your friend seems to be letting it overtake her life, and that does show that there is something majorly wrong. That, or she's just growing shallow.

And changing her diet is perfectly normal. It is recommended that when trying to lose weight, you eat six to eight small, healthy meals in order to keep your metabolism high and from eating too much fat or sugar. An apple can be. My cousin only ate fruits and such while he was on a diet. He's perfectly fine and healthier now. If she's exercising, I don't see anything so wrong besides her attitude on life and others.

Anorexic people don't eat, many people eat smaller meals throughout the day and cut out sugar and fat. I don't think the problem is the change in diet, but her poor self esteem and sudden need to belittle others for the way she obviously feels about herself.

"Anorexic people don't eat", that's kind of an uninformed statement to make. anorexics can be anorexic for years, how do you think they live that long? they do eat, just very little, and anorexics with bulimia tendencies purge after eating.

Someone who suffers from anorexia as a general rule does not eat every day, which is what I meant geez.

"Someone who suffers from anorexia as a general rule does not eat every day, which is what I meant geez."

Beautiful Chaos: I had a friend in past. Doctor diagnosed she had anorexia. She ate every day, but just a bit. I don't know which one of us have wrong information... *thinking*

Cyrano: Do you call that healthy if a person eats one apple and piece of bread whole day? Or...is that very healthy diet -in your opinion?

I heard loosing weight should happen SLOWLY...not quickly... But I see you people think what she is doing is good and right...

I just don't see no point what she is doing now...She thinks she will loose weight by eating just some some apple or small salad in whole day...

She phoned me yesterday and complained she is having headache but that is just a normal reaction if you don't eat enough...I think.

OK. You are right. I am wrong. I am talking just crap like she says. She is doing great!

Some eat nothing, some eat small things, some binge and purge, my point was cutting fat and eliminating sugar is not necessarily a sign of anorexia.

^Some eat nothing, some eat small things, some binge and purge, my point was cutting fat and eliminating sugar is not necessarily a sign of anorexia.^

Binging and purging are symptoms of Bulemia, not Anorexia.

Anorexia is an eating disorder where people starve themselves. People suffering from anorexia have extreme weight loss. Weight loss is obtained by many ways. Some of the common techniques used are excessive exercise, taking laxatives and not eating at all for days or eating very little.

People who suffer with anorexia think they are overweight even after they become extremely thin, become very ill, or are near death. Often they will develop strange eating habits such as refusing to eat in front of other people. Anorexics have an intense fear of becoming overweight and their dieting habits develop from this fear.

The healthy way to lose weight is to burn off more calories than you consume and to exercise. It is healthy to eat small meals (5-6 a day as opposed to 3 large meals and snacks).

If she is your friend, you want to support her in her effort whether her motivation is to look good on the outside, to be more healthy inside or both. Tell her you suspect her headache is from not eating enough..although there are many things that can give one a headache.like reading some of the responses to your thread LOL!! Tell her that you are proud of her for wanting to make a change but you don't want her to end up getting sick. There is a more healthy way than how she is doing it. She is off to a good start with the exercising and being concious of what types of food she is eating. She does not need to eat sugar, but she does need more than an apple and a piece of bread(hope it was whole grain). Hopefully she is consuming enough water and taking vitamins as it seems she is lacking in that department.

I understand your point that basically she seems like a different person now. Vain and obsessed with the way not only she looks, but other people too. Talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. That's what friends are for. Tell her that when she was overweight, you didn't think any less of her because you liked her for the person she was, not her appearance. Good Luck!

Yes, big can be beautiful. Too big can be unhealthy. True beauty is only skin deep. If people are too shallow to get to know someone because they are overweight or ugly, then it is they who are missing out.

My best friend was anorexic, she would go a few days without eating and then spend a day binging and purging, she was only recognized in treatment as an anorexic.

She should have been treated for both....

People with anorexia starve themselves, avoid high-calorie foods and exercise constantly.
People with bulimia eat a large amount of food (often junk food) at once, usually in secret. The person typically feels powerless to stop the eating and can only stop once he or she is too full to eat any more. Most people with bulimia then purge by vomiting, but may also use laxatives, diuretics (water pills) or exercise excessively.
Although anorexia and bulimia are very similar, people with anorexia are usually very thin and underweight but those with bulimia may be a normal weight or even overweight and they usually don't lose as much weight as a person with anorexia.

Anorexia
becomes very thin, frail, or emaciated
obsessed with eating, food, and weight control
weighs herself or himself repeatedly
counts or portions food carefully
only eats certain foods, avoiding foods like dairy, meat, wheat, etc. (of course, lots of people who are allergic to a particular food or are vegetarians avoid certain foods)
exercises excessively
feels fat
withdraws from social activities, especially meals and celebrations involving food
may be depressed, lethargic (lacking in energy), and feel cold a lot

Bulimia
fears weight gain
intensely unhappy with body size, shape, and weight
makes excuses to go to the bathroom immediately after meals
may only eat diet or low-fat foods (except during binges)
regularly buys laxatives, diuretics, or enemas
spends most of his or her time working out or trying to work off calories
withdraws from social activities, especially meals and celebrations involving food