She Is Ruining It!!!!

Ugg
My boyfriend asked me to marry him last night..its supposed to be the best day of a girls life right?..WRONG ..my mom wont butt out..She keeps saying I should wait till im out of college..I see where she is coming from but its not like i cant get married during the summer ya know....Then she was telling me today to wait to have children...She is pushing tooo much..I hate it & my fiance' is getting annoyed too
How do I let her down lightly?
How do I stop her without hurting her feelings?
Any Advice?

PS- Ive known the guy for 2years people! Ive just been dating him for 3 months
he was my best friend through eveything & well now we are getting serious...so no i havnt only known him for 3 months..Ive just been dating him for 3 months ..We have dated before in the past, but the timing was never right....okay, get it now?

You're under eighteen and if you leave under her house, hate to say it but maybe she is right. If you can not even make your aguement here sound mature, are you even ready for marriage. Talk to you mom in an adult manner if you want to rush and get married and have children. And as far as it being the best day of a girl's life. Sure. The time my first wx-boyfriend proposed to me, I was smart enough to get the heck out of there and I was fourteen. I wasn't ready then and even now I am now here near ready. If you are then talk to your mom and tell ehr this should be the best day of your life but you want to plan out the rest of it and explain those plans.

We are not getting married right away..we both have 1 more year of high school left, so soon after graduation we will get married..we are not rushing...we both decided we wont officially be married for another year or 2 & my mom knows this...She just is scared ill get hurt again..& i know where she is coming from,but she needs to just back off & i dont live under her house..I live with my fiance' & his brother & his brothers wife...
But really I just want to be happy, but like always she wont let me be happy if she's not

Well, you need to just find a way to meet with her, sit her down maybe out to eat outside somewhere or somewhere where you can bring your fiance' along and explain how you are sure of what you want to do, that you appreciate everything where being concerned is about, but that at this point, you feel that you know what you want to do is right and would like her to be supportive more than anything. That you will ask for advice when needed, instead of hearing what you should or should not do constantly. Or something like that. Be supportive of her if you don't want to hurt her feelings but after a few minutes slowly introduce your side.

She is concerned about you and wants to make sure you make the right decision, in fact I think the things she is trying to discuss with you are normal, especially given your age. Be thankful she cares.

"I cried myself to sleep last night
...because im just kinda scared to get hurt again..
im really fallin for this guy & i just got out of a heartbreak 3 months ago...I just cant go through another heartbreak...I just dont want to....Im so scared..so...so...scared"

You just posted that in another thread TODAY. So even if I look past the fact that you're 17 and still in high school, as well as the fact that it appears you've been with the guy less than 3 months, that right there shows that you are NOT ready. Your mom isn't wrong here- you should listen to her instead of trying to get her to butt out. Re-evaluate your relationship, maybe you're not as ready as you think to be planning a wedding.

You have a whole lot more to learn about life. Yeah, that's fine, be in-love the way you want to be... but later in life you will realize that there is so much more to life than highschool. You still need to grow and make something out of yourself, find your true identity. Maybe you'll find somebody more interesting or maybe he will find somebody else... maybe you both won't. So if that's the case, there is no need to rush into getting married!

Besides... who is the bread winner between the two of you anyway?

"Besides... who is the bread winner between the two of you anyway?"

What the....

Seriously that's a questions? You'r a man aren't you? Lame...just lame...

anywho, I'm with Jamie on this one, you are FAR from being even close to ready for marriage, 3 months? And engaged? Lord help the youth these days.

I personally believe you have a problem with being alone and that's why you said yes...I also think that your mother is right, you're 17 and apparently have alot of growing up to do.

Everyone else has said it already...she isn't ruining it. she is being a mother! she is trying to protect you from the hurt that could come from rushing it. 3 months isn't long enough to be able to tell you want to be with someone forever. i'm 17, just like you, i can't imagine being married yet! there's plenty of time in life to get married, why rush it...if you guys are so in love, then you'll be able to be together long enough to be sure that it's what you both really want. dont grow up too fast...

I'm sorry, my point with the bread winner bit is that since you are both so young that sort of thing WILL matter in the short and long run...

Just try to imagine the scenarios where the guy earns the money and he suddenly just doesn't like you anymore. Where will the girl go and what will she do for herself? And vice versa.

That was going to be my point. Sorry I didn't just put it all in one go.

Mothers know best (in my experience). You should go with what your mother had said or reach a compromise. Go ahead and get engaged, not married. That sounds good, doesn't it?

Im not rushing it
we are waiting to get married after high school..the ring is just on my finger..
& i did have a talk with my mom & she kinda understood & she didnt totally agree but she said if this was what I wanted then she would support me & only me
but i mean we wont be officially married for another year..im not rushing it..
we both know school is our first goal to finish & since im not living with my mother she cant tell me how to live..yea she may be right..but ever since i turned 13 ive had to grow up & take responsabilities a kid shouldnt have to take...Ive ran away & now im live with my fiance & his brother & his brothers wife...my life finally feels perfect & i dont want to ruin it all but listening to my mother...im happy & thats final & im going to go through with this marriage..besdies we wont be officially say "i do" for almost 2 years..im not rushing..im being happy!

No..see ive known him for 2 years..we were really close friends & well he was the greatest & he helped me through whatever it was
& we started dating last december but then we broke up because it was hard then we gave it a try 3 months ago & well things couldnt be any more perfect..he asked me to marry him..dude i would never marry a guy ive only known for 3 months..i met him 3 years ago & im pretty sure this is what i want in life..

& i do appreciate all the advie I get..but I mean I dont feel that tha advice is right for me...I do really thank everyone for taking the time to put in your advice...but I really think I cant follow it this time....
If you want to lock this thread then..well do so...Ive got my own thoughts on all this & you all have yours
But I do appreciate everyones input

I know you're not taking the advice you're getting here, and I also know someday you'll come to regret it. I really hope you don't get in too deep, and don't compromise your future. Good luck with everything (trust me, you'll need it).

You're pretty sure this is what you want? better be completely sure before you do anything you will regret..

The issue that you wanted to take advice on was about your mom but it was clear that there was a different issue.

And you don't even want to take into consideration what everybody is saying here. 100% of the people here said that you are rushing things (blah blah blah). You won't even think about that? Same exact things your mother said. There must be some kind of conspiracy between us and your mom!...No.

Be careful. Be safe. Be smart. If you have something to prove then do it. Just remember the consequences. Also, there is no shame in admitting loss, remember that.

I'm glad that you've known him for a couple of years, however... the relationship dynamic can change drastically when you're in a romantic relationship, versus a friend relationship. You know each other well, and really like each other, but you can't know yet how well you will work out as a couple. There are big differences... you become more dependent on each other, you need to know how to work through problems together, you need to be able to live with things that you could just walk away from if you were just friends... things like that. Even if you've known him for longer, it sounds like you're only just in the sparkly hormonal stage of your romantic relationship. Give yourselves some time to grow together - learn each other in this new setting. If you have your whole lives ahead of you, then just chill for a while.

If you're set on getting married so early, GET A PLAN. You two need to talk through financial realities, housing, the possibility of paying for children, jobs, etc. Marriage is about more than "Oh, we love each other so much." You need to be able to actually live together, and have an active and viable partnership for your lives. Good luck.