Relationship sabatage

My cousin and my b/f had sex one time many years before I met him. She still likes him (even though they were never going out). She had not talked to him for years and then one day the three of us hung out (because I did not know of their past) but he came right out and told me the very same day (after she left). She has since been asking him out and he tells her he does not like her that way and that he is happily in love with me. So after about two months of her hounding on him to go out with her she stopped until about three months ago. She then has been writing e-mails to herself pretending to be him and then showing them to us. The letters she writes say stuff about how much he likes her and wants to be with her instead of me and how I am ugly and no good for him and how much better they would be together. I know for a fact tht she is the one writing these letters to get us to break up so she can have him. Two months ago she got married and moved in with a guy she only knew for two weeks. They are still together but today my b/f got a letter from my cousin saying how much she appreciated his e-mails and how she also wants to be with him. Also about how she wished she never married the guy she is with now and how she always dreams about being with him. She also said she is going to come back to our town from her town (about one hr away) to talk to him in person. I was furious when I heard all of this and so was he. He said he has no intentions of ever being with her and he wishes she would just go away. He also showed the letter to both of his parents and they are pretty unhappy with her. He then called her and left a message on her answering machine saying how he doesn't want to be with her and how he wishes she would leave him alone. Also how he got the letter and did not appreciate it in any way. She just does not get the picture to go away no matter what we do or say. I'd rather not get the authorities involved if I don't have to, but I'm running out of ideas on what to do. Help!

Honestly, she needs and deserves a good couple slugs across the face for reality to set in. I'm assuming you and your boyfriend have confronted her straight up about it? In this situation, there is nothing else to do but get harsh and honest as possible. And that letter that she sent, saying how she wishes she never married the guy she married? You need to tell the husband, too, because it is completely and utterly unfair to him. Not only do THEY have to work their relationship out, but obviously you guys need peace from her, too. Confront her again. If she doesn't listen--I'm sorry, but she sounds stalker-like--the authorities will have to get involved if you have no other option. Have you showed HER parents? If they know, they could try and talk to her considering they're her parents. Have a sit down with everyone or something, and just confront her and straighten everything out. That's the only real non-violent suggestion I have.

My dear, though, good luck.
You sound like you're gonna need it.

It's not going to be easy, but you just have to ignore her. Throw out the letters she sends him or you, don't call her, don't take her calls, don't talk to her husband, don't tell people about what she's doing, nothing. Basically, give absolutely no response to her. Eventually, when she realizes she isn't getting a reaction out of you, she'll go away. If you and your boyfriend both know that neither of you is doing anything wrong, then it shouldn't cause problems between you.

Ok...so obviously your cousin has issues...big time if she doesnt know enough to leave him alone by now. You need to just ignore her...ignore her letters, her calls, and her husband. But what will really make the difference is your bf ignoring them. Sit down with him and talk to him about all this.

She is 19 and her husband is 22. Her parents disowned her 3 years ago and stuck her in a group home. She recently got out (by moving in with this guy). I have deleted both of the e-mails she has sent. My b/f has the letter. I don't know what he did with it. All I know is he showed both of his parents and one of his friends and his cousin. They all thought she was nuts. They all called her yesterday while I was over his house and yelled at her. She kept saying she didn't do it, but everyone could tell how obvious her lies were. I don't know for sure, but I think the only reasons she was denying it was because her husband was sitting right next to her while she was on the phone. We both decided that if nothig else ghappens we will leave things alone, but if anything else happends we may just have to call the police and see if we can get a restraining order. All we want is for this to stop.