Help me!!!

My life is so sucky right now, i could make ppl feel better and i can't even do it for myself
i was with this guy last year for six months and then we broke up, due to his "friends" and then he came back in my life for like 3 times after that, these last few months being the 3rd.
and i tried to change, because i had some "bad habits", according to him. so, you know, stupid me, i tried to change, but the person i was trying to be wasn't me. and so we fought and things went really wrong. his best friend, hates me and i dunno what i did, she thinks, i'm this stuck up pompous person, who doesn't deserve him.

She made him avoid me last saturday in the mall.
and he did!!
and that just ripped me apart and so i blew up at him and honestly i don't regret anything i said, i just miss him so much, i mean it's like over a year we knew each other, he was my first valentine and my first everything, i t'm trying so hard, to just let thing go and move on but, it's killng me.

what do i do

Ask yourself why you are torturing yourself for some guy who doesn't respect you? You broke up more than once, he lets his friends run his life and you allowed him to push you so far, you were willing to be someone you are not, just to please him. Why are you making all the sacrifices? We all have special feelings for our firsts, but it definitely sounds like you need to create some new firsts with someone else.

I know i should, but i honestly dunno how,
how can i let go of something i feel so strongly for?

It is not that you can't, it is that you don't want to, but one day you'll see it is better to be in a happy, healthy and mutually respectful relationship than just any relationship at all.

Honestly i dont think this guy deserves you. If he's gonna let his best friend tell him how to live his life and who he can and can't date you dont need him. I know he means a lot to you and you have your heart set on being with him but just try to open up your eyes a little...gauranteed there is someone out there dieing to be with you who dreams about you every night...so basically to sum it all up..just try to move on

Best of luck

Thanks a million guys, i'll try
and think about all this stuff

Sounds to me like his best friend might like him and her jealousy is sabotaging your relationship. or maybe she just feels like now you and him are together she's loosing his freindship. either way you have to put a stop to it, talk to the guy tell him how our feel, and if he still treats you with such disrespect then you'll have to move on as this kind of relationship can be destructive. hope everything works out xxx

It's so horrible i stopped talking to him because i couldn't take the hurt and stuff
but i'm gonna just try to get over, i have no other choice