My age, and lesbian doesn't help.. [venting?]

Instead of me being young and the other old... THIS is from the older person's perspective that is really into the younger person.
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I suppose... I'm doing because I cannot really talk to anyone about this.
Heh, mainly because I do the stereotypical lesbian thing and my exs are my friends... but also because this age difference between me and this girl isn't acceptable.

I have not known her too long. About 6 months now.
It all started on myspace.. of course. Well... she admitted to having a crush on me on there anyway.

I made it clear that all I wanted was a friendship... and that's what I intended for, but it didn't work like that.

Young. 14 to be exact.. but she blew me away. And alas, someone with a brain! Even my peers and elder people lack in this department. Creative.. gah.

Well... it turned into more. Minus the very physical part of it. lol, too fast for my blood anyway.
Her mother was chill for while... but, her thinking this bi thing was a phase... and it not go away after a bit.. I suppose made her change her mind.
My age, 17 for one more month now... did not help calm her worries.

So then we kind of did sneaking around to just talk to each other. Even for a moment, or just to drop off our notebook with our thoughts back and forth.
It all seemed very much like a book.

I'm just starting college now, and she will be a softmore in highschool (skipped a grade).
I'm a very logical person. My mind tells me this will not work out so well... but no matter how much I tell myself I'm doing this for the both of us... it still kills me inside.
I figure we can be friends... I'll manage that enough so long as we can communicate I thought. I'll wait. But even that is out of reach.

Ugh, I'm a good person. Good in school, no drugs, no drinking, non-suicidal... just my damn age. Heh, and gay but this time I'm thinking it's number 2 on this.

Oh, let's not forget the threats I got from her mother to me. Came to my house to tell me not to see her and to make my father enforce it (he seemed to be on 'my side' though). Then came to my work and told me not to see her, contact her...not ever. Not till she's 18. Oh and if I come to her house... I will be arrested for trespassing, and if I 'touch her daughter' I will be arrested for...'molestation' as she put it.
Ugh. I don't even think of her daughter as someone that young but she needn't worry about that anyway... *sigh* I'm a good person..

Man, I've been with girls before but man... nothing like this.
I'm a soft stud or butch... crying not my thing. She was the first girl I ever cried in front of... more of a wept. That was the night of the day we found out we are to be separated...
(She lives across the main street from me)

It was just not my usual self... but I liked it. With her. I can kiss her tears away and also let her do that with me without feeling shame.

You know.... I get that certain feeling I never had before. The one where you're like... 'Yep. I love her. I can be with her all my life.' and not flinch or feel guilt since you know logically that that sort of certainty is impossible. Certain. Certain from the heart... but the mind? It's troubling.

My desire... to be with her. But I'm willing to wait till she's of age. If only I can at least be a friend though.

It'd be great to have some responses. I'm not sure what I'm looking for in this topic post since this is not a usual thing for me or whatever. Just maybe... some sort of reassurance to one side of me... my heart and/or my mind.
Help? Relate? Something..

Hey i know how you feel sweetie i was there with my ex and here is your reassurance it will get better me and my ex went through almost the same thing and i am gay by the way. and we are best friends now and she is going to be 19 although she thinks we don't belong together i beg to differ b/c no matter what she is feeling she will talk to me no matter if she wont talk to her family or whatever she comes to me and she doesn't cry she is alot like you and she wont cry but she will in front of me wiith no regret at all. we have been close for so long i dont know i hope it is reassurance for you she will come back to you and you stand a chance if you have the strength to wait for her. i hope you do you sound wonderful and i hope everything works out for you better then it did for me. take it from me don't give up on the girl of your dreams b/c the parents dont agree if you want to read some of my poems they might help you i hope some do. umm other then that if you would like to email me please do ok i hope to hear back from you and i hope i helped.

krysten