All Cutting/Self-harm issues use this thread only - #16

This is the only place where posts about cutting and self-harm belong

This series of threads was created as a self-help thread. A place where people can share their stories and look for suggestions, relief, or just some sort of compassion.

If you are coming here to berate someone, stir up an argument or disrespect someone in any form, you will be penalized. If it is done multiple times, your account will be suspended.

It is all choices, find other things to replace the habit, distract her as much as you can, keep her talking and keep her positive. Writing, talking, reading, painting, singing, hanging out with other people, getting active, all good outlets.

You can't make anyone do anything or I am sure someone would be making you stop by now. If she wants to stop, support her no matter what you are doing, you being a cutter yourself, you understand what she is going through and the hold it can have on a person.

Well the people that cut them self..............well let me tell you that cutting ain't easy..... a lot of people cut them self just to feel that pain instead of what happend in the heart I was one of them but all I do is get out my depression out by writing poems of play boxing so yeah (^_^)

Getting someone to stop cutting isn't easy..at all. i was a cutter for four years, i still have the urge to, in fact i did today, but just let her know that your there. Shanik

Ugh..mkay i have mood swings. sometimes i'm happy for a while, then sad, maybe mad..and so on. and sometimes i feel too many emotions in one day, and i can't handle it, then i relapse and cut. today was one of those days, but i stopped myself. so i was just wondering if you guys knew a way i could foget cutting? Thanks Shanik

It's all about choices, you either choose to live or you let every bad thing in your life overtake you and eventually destroy you, eventually most of us come to realize it is easier to face our demons than spend years letting them eat away at our soul.

You will never forget cutting per say, but that's not a bad thing. As I said previously you have to replace it with another habit, hopefully something positive you can throw yourself into with as much passion. Rectify the problems that brought you to cutting, that's a big help.

I still have urges, but i don't cut myself because every time i almost do it, i think of my bf, cuz he cries every time i do it

Thinking of your impact on others is a good start, but the only true constant in your life is you, you have to learn to live in your own skin and deal with what brought you to the party.

I totally agree with that.
I have a really good 'friend'
&& hes one of the few who knows I've ever cut myself before.
I did it for about a year, then tried to stop when I got a lung disease because I wanted to make myself healthier. It was sooo Damn hard that this summer I relasped and came back harder.
Butt Friends really do help in support.
He told me he never wanted anything to happen to me && especially if it was something he could help prevent.
So he gave up Drugs, && Drinking. For Me.
I think if you really love this girl, you need to try and stop yourself.

I had a really good friend in high school who used to cut herself. She would do it a few times a week or a few times a day. She had scars to show all the times she had cut herself. I got really worried about her and took her to get help because she was suicidal as well. After i got her help, she drifted apart from me, and i wish she shouldnt have but it was really hard for me to see her hurt herself. After I looked help for myself because I started doing what she was doing... and I became suicidal. Still to this day... but I am getting help.

This is for 'these wounds they will not heal';
i find it really admirable that your getting help, and that you tried so hard to help ur friend who was in trouble.
i know what you mean when its hard to see someone you care about hurting themselves, and how it can lead to you hurting yourself.
its hard enough to admit you have a problem, let alone to seek help for yourself. i really admire you for having the strength to do this. you seem really strong and down to earth, and im sure that with help you will be ble to dig yourself out of this rut that so many of us seem to be stuck in.
xx

So I still cut and I have really been trying to stop because I know it is bad for me. But I'm kind of afraid to loose the scars...they are almost like a symbol to me of what I've been through.

If you have any advice pm me please...

Lucifer:
i haven't lost any of my scars, nor will i ever.

"I'm kind of afraid to loose the scars...they are almost like a symbol to me of what I've been through."

Succeeding and moving past that part of your life should be the reminder that you want to hold onto. I have permanent scars, they can be a trigger, just as well as any memory or stress factor. We should look for positive symbols if we really want to recover.

People usely cut them self let go of the pain to feel alive to feel something

Ive become so used to it the pain feels like a calming tickle

and i still love it

Yeah that's what I said at 15 too, try it at 30 when you have a family, then it isn't quite so sweet to be so numb.

Anyone who cuts, should get help. I think. Or I will always be there to talk. lol

Cutting is a sign that those who cut have things going on that they cant deal with themselves. Once those things are resolved, and healthy ways of dealing with them are established, it stands to reason that the need to cut would deminish. Certainly it still might be a temptation bc it is, in so respect, an "easy" and effective outlet. At least that's what I hope. I'm bipolar, and that has a lot to do with why I cut. I'm hoping if I can find a way to deal with being bipolar (there are no known cures) then maybe I won't feel the need to cut so much.

F

I was so scared today becuz i had my doctors yearly physical and i had to wear a hospital johnny to get examed for the first time. i had been cutting my thighs all summer long and there was one on my right thigh still kinda fresh from about 3 days ago. it had started to heal but it was very noticable. idk if my doctor saw it when she lifted the gown up to check my stomache cuz i kept my hand on it so the gown would somewhat hide it but now im kinda mad cuz ill have to be careful of cutting when my appointment nears from now on. i felt so exposed and when they asked me all the questions like if i ever smokes weed and stuff i wondered why they didnt care to ask if i ever cut myself. a lot of people cut but its not put out there enough, its seen as something worse than smoking weed and in some ways it isnt.

When people cut,its sometimes hard to hide the evidence. I KNow this because I have cut myself before and it was horriable trying to hide it from my friends and family. Im not going to lie...i still have the urge to bleed at some points. But the hardest part is hidding it. I did everything from using make-up...to wearing nothing but long sleeves all the time. But it was just to hard to keep up with. Most of the time I wish someone would just look at my scars..but im scared of the response to it. I have cut myself on my ankles and thighs and the best answer i can give is if someone asks...just tell. Dont hide it..cuz it will just caouse u more pain in the end.

Lucifer,

I feel the exact same way. I havent done it in like 2 months but the urge to cut across my wrist still linger in my head like an addiction!! The scars imprinted on me is my symbol too.
All i can say is...thik about your friends and the people around you. Think about the life u want to live. And what i feel like is very helpful is if u enjoy to write(like stories)..i would make a character that feels like you and does the things you do and by the end of the book make that charcter become what u want to become or feel. This will release some of the stress and make u see something that youve alwaysed wanted to be...and maybe u can be that.

Victoria

"And what i feel like is very helpful is if u enjoy to write(like stories)..i would make a character that feels like you and does the things you do and by the end of the book make that character become what u want to become or feel. This will release some of the stress and make u see something that you've always wanted to be...and maybe u can be that."

Excellent advice Victoria. I also found this helpful, not only in taking a look at myself, but becoming optimistic. The only limits we have are the ones we set for ourselves.

I know cuttings bad.
Honest.
I've had lectures, counseling and the whole sha-bamn. But It helps alot too I Think.
All those nights when I was quite sure I couldn't stand another day, I knew I could replace mental chaotic pain with physical pain I could acctually control. A simple slit releases endorphins and gives a natural high.
Its like a drug, and just as addicting.
I DO think doctors should mention it more often 'SweetlyNumb' But the simple truth is that most cutters hide it better. I use to run hot water over mine to keep it from scarring so my family wouldn't see.
&& also cutting is a cry for help. Its you, screaming to the world 'Here's how far I've fallen.'
But more and more often it just leads to more self-hurt. It is wrong to do. But you have to tell someone. Anyone tell your parents, siblings, friends, teachers, guidance counselers, anything.
Just get HELP. Its not your fault this worlds screwed up stop making yourself feel the pain.

^^^CHELSEA = Does hot water really work??^^^

umm so anyways, i found if my mood goes so low that i feel i want/have to cutt i find the nearest nail polish and start to paint my nails,

(if im really bad more than 1 colour!)

it works for me as i consentrate on making no mistakes and it keeps my "itching hands" busy long enough to forget about it completely.

<of course this never ALWAYS works>

i told my doctor about 2years ago that i was cutting and burning, and she referred my to a phycologist (with my approval of course)and when i started to open up about my self harm and my past i found it helped. but then my progress started moving back and i decided it was because i was having to lie about the marks on my body, so i told my parents about my medication, self harm and phycologist and i felt a hell of alot better. now if i have a slip i dont have to hide it from them and lie about it, they understand and support me.

i guess the next step will be to tell my older brother and sister.

but hey - one step at a time, right?

I.B.E

X

Absolutely I.B.E. it is definetely one step at a time, it is never easy to be vulnerable.

For me, cutting is something I can control, not really a cry for help. My mother is a very controling person and right now she is trying to control every aspect of my life, even my relationship with my boyfriend. I slipped up a few nights ago, first time in 6 or 7 months because of this and some other reasons, but it is just something I have to myself, that I control, that she can't, you know?

Yes, in the past she's tried to control that too by sending me to councolers, putting me on medication, but that's stuff that I can refuse if I want to.

For me, cutting helps me deal with everything a lot better and not be such an emotional wreck. But that's just me.

"For me, cutting is something I can control, not really a cry for help."

Same difference. Something in your life isn't right, so you resort to this. Kudos on the 6 months you resisted.

Yeah i can relate wanting one thing all to yourself, even if that thing is looked upon as bad or whatever. if it helps it helps, if you dont wana cutt you seek help, which im guessing you have done since the 6-7month span! well done you, i normally only last a month then everything turns to crap in my life (again) but not to worry, im moving away into the country side where there is less distractions and more soul searching and medetation.

love to all

I.B.E
X

I admit it i have been cutting to just deal with all this crap. sometimes is better to feel physical pain than mental pain. at least for me. i sometimes think that this is part of me that if i don't have it i might just lose myself. i'm in college and i have accomplished many things even with all the crap i've been through. i still try to show my brothers and sister and her kid that i can do it. i'm 19 years old and the oldest of five. i was in foster care and just finished with the system a few months ago. i've tried to stay strong for my siblings that look up to me. So to me cutting helps. others may disagree with me, but to me staying strong on the outside, in front of all the people that expect it from me, well...sometimes even i get depress but no i can't tell anyone that because then i'm a WEAK person to the eyes of those who "admire" me. i always try to act as if i'm all right and all the things that my mother put us through don't hurt as much as they hurt my brothers. so when i'm alone i take care of that pain. i try my best to hide it. and well now that i'm away they don't won't know. i tried telling my foster parents what goes on in my head when i'm depressed and that i cut. well they just freaked out. they only threatened me and told me that they were going to lock me up. I also seeked help by going to a psycologist but it just didn't help. they told me the shit every one did and to get pills. i don't need them. so now i just go about my life like nothing and if i feel like cutting i put it off as much as i can. my only fear is that my brothers and sister would see how weak i truly am....

I used to think like you, i still do sometimes when my head is skrewed up. but i found if i let my pain out on something else and not myself,it helps, sometimes. when they grow up and if they find out the whole truth about your cutting they wont think you are weak, just a very troubled person with many thoughts.

<<sorry - i dont know if this is helping>>

i always said i wouldnt do there medication, but ive been on it since i was 16 and if i didnt use it, i dont think i would be here-thats how weak i am. im kinda thinking im addicted to it now, i dont know, i see a shrink every week, sometimes once a month if im feeling strong, but the last session i walked in and she asked how i was and if id cut. i simply said, i slashed my wrists and want to die, and straight away i got even more help. more stress and more people to see and more things to get me out the house - as i have social issues but i think it worked.

<<sorry i know im rambling>>

anyway, the thing im trying to say is, its up to you what ever you do, you can hide it or talk to someone about it. i told my parents a while ago about everything and they were like oh, we already knew most of that, they were just waiting for me to go to them, and they have been so supportive.

i still have my bad days, but i say to myself, its not me thats feeling like this, its the depression making me feel like this. sometimes it helps to get my ass out of bed.

^^pm me if you want angel^^

IBE
X

I haven't cut in awhile but i slipped last night.I did everything i could to not do it but nothing worked.I just cut a little but it didn't help at all.Now i almost have to do it again. the whole time i quit, cutting was the only thing i could think about.Now the urges are too strong for me to control.I quit taking my meds or even seeing a doctor cause I'm sick of it all.I don't want some stupid doctor telling me I'm insane every week. I just don't know what to do:(

I guess its more than a slip now. I fell completly off the wagon.And all my scars were just getting where you could barely see them.i'm back where i started now.:(

You know giving up isn't the answer Cory, you quit for a bit, that is good, it is all trial and error, if the meds are not working and you don't like your doc, switch it up. We all struggle. We're all a little insane :)

Yeah your right it's just really hard to quit for me. everywhere i go there's triggers.and everytime i see blood on the tube or a blade I start slipping back.And everytime i quit for a while I end up slipping up and i have to start over.Quiting seems useless cause when i do i can never stop for more than a few months.I don't think having a doctor or meds is even helping me.So i think i will just give up on them and try to deal with it myself.

When I first began actually trying to quit, that was me too, a few weeks or months at a time, now my longest stretch is just over 2 years, it is possible to slip, no matter how long you have gone without. A great doc can do wonders, don't sell that short even if you don't want the meds.

Thats soo true but i still need help