Is it meant to be ???

Well here it goes...am in this major crush with a guy who is older than me...and the amazing part is that he has this major crush on me too...we both know we admire eachother deeply, but we're just keepin things cool for now!

the both of us, have a million things in common...i mean he's like my long lost twin!!! but there's this problem, or situation or circumstance as u may like to call it: currently we're not in the same country, but in the future we're planning to be together! he still has to serve the army and a few other things, and i still need to finish school..so the age difference is actually perfect! we'll both be finished in the same time ready to move on together to soem other better place for the both of us!

now i am in this major confusion issue..i have the choice of continuing school in the country i am in right now, OR to continue school is the country he is in, which means we'll have more time to spend together!
now: what am i supposed to choose?? see if i decide on continuing school in the country he's in, then i won't be with my parents or brothers!! but he'll be there for me and we'll be able to see eachother! and if i stay where i am right now, i'll be with my parents and bothers, but he won't be there, and i'll only be able to see him for a few days every 3 months (if i'm really lucky)

so....i am really STUCK...i don't know what to choose!!! i really like him and there is an amazing chance for us to be together, ONLY IF we got to see eachother a bit more frequenlty (i.e. if i move and leave my parents and brothers)....so what is it??? how am i supposed to act??

"there is an amazing chance for us to be together, ONLY IF we got to see each other a bit more frequently"

If it's real and both of you really think it is worth it, it shouldn't matter what choice you make.

It all depends on love ok if u really like this dude then you go to his country, sometimes you have to make choices that you dont want to make ok and your family will still love you no matter what choice you make and maybe your family will come see you in that country every three months

Thanks for all those who replied to this post!!!!! XD

well...i dunno...i mean i really want to move on and be in the same country as he's in!! but i don't want my parents to understand that i chose him or preferred him OVER them!!! especially my mom, i don't want her to think that...and i can't talk her out of that either!!! i know she'll think in that way if i suggested moving to wher he is!!

See Angelina...about what u said about my future...u see...i'll end up the same either way!!! my career won't change in either country!! i'll still end up having the same degree..just from a different place!

Totally

??? :S:S

Actually NO...we did see eachother a few times..and we're always in contact either by mail, chat, calls, textings...but they're not enough for either one of us!!! we still need to spend more time with eachother!!!

Gosh Amanda...u talk my cub-conscious out loud!!!
i know it's so simple and that there is no real confusion in the issue! but i dunno...i don't want my parents to dwell about it later on! i mean they told me: "if u decide to go live in that country, then we won't be able to be there for u in any kinda shit"
it sounds kinda hurting u know!!!

and to be frank...i talked to him about us bein together IF i come and stuff....and GOD he was too excited about it...and i was too...but then i remember my parents and brothers who won't be with me!!!
i hate this state of confusing confusion i am in!!!!

of course i am not asking to really decide for me...but u know..i like to hear ppl's advices...ppl from inside the pic and from outside...if u get what i mean!!!!

Well Amanda...i'll be totally frank with ya here...in a year i will be away from my parents anyway...and to somewhere better off from the place i am in now, or the place my bf is in!!!
well, am studying my pre-med now, and then i'll be off to some other place!!!
now if i go to the country the guy is in, then i'll be stuck there for the next four years of my life, and there is nothing to change that!!! but if i stay here, then i just have one more year to move on my own to some other place!

the guy is tellin me that he'll be in that country (where i will move to) in the next four years time, so it's just a matter of spending these four years with him!!! but educationally, it's far better off for me to stay where i am now for 1 year, after which i will move! but he will only be able to move 3 years later! and during those 3 years the contact witll be VERY VERY AND EXTREMELY DIFFICULT between the 2 of us!!!

so it's really on the emotional level, i know that it's pretty self-explanatory that i should stay here for this one year and then move on, and he'll be there anyway 3 years later, but the pain of this distance is what's haunting me!!! it's a weakness in me isn't it??!!! :S:S

How do you know when its meant to be? I loved my ex and now i want to move on but he thinks we are still together and i have a new boyfriend who im falling for fast. Im stuck i dont wanna hurt the old but im to into the new to let the old one go. How do i tell the old one im ready to leave when hes talking about marrying me

It's hard- but you need to put your education first. If it's better for you personally to stay then stay. Compromises can be made, and I'm sure the two of you can work something out if you really want to for the next three years. Good luck.

Amanda...i really don't know what to tell you...i can't thank you enough!!!
as a matter of fact, the both of us have thought things out loud together, and he prefers if i move to where he is, but i talked him thru my better choices if i stay, and then we can move on together after 3 yrs time!! it's a hell of a time i know, but we're willing to hold on for as long as forever might be!!!! it's getting kinda stable now, and we're both ok!!! but i hope it woudl last!!!

please please please please please please please wish us the best of luck...we really deserve eachother, u know we've got all those things in common, i feel he's my long lost twin!!! it's amazing!!! we really hope we can make it!!!!

Amanda, your my true inspiration...i just love how you put things together, you make the situation sound so sensible and probable!!! i guess i've decided the right thing to do, for both of us, coz we really need to focus on our studies now, and then moving on together as a successful couple will really brighten things for us!!! wow...i just had a long vent about this, and am glad!!! i hope it turns out to the better, and we end up together!!!!
and you're absoultely correct, LDR is a real test for the both of us, our true personalities will get revealed by time!!!

I totally also agree with everything Amanda said.
I have same kind of relationship working for me.
He doing his studies in his country and me in mine. We visiting each other one on one season other on other season. And I'm sure you agree that the times you able to spend with him are most magical.
All the relationships don't provide this just the feeling having a rock you could always lean on, that won't let you down ever. Only you two know how hard it is to make this kind of relatsionship work and the trust that grows out of it is amazed and questioned by many, but in the end no one knows that person better then you. :)
All that said I just wanted to let you know you are not alone.
And if it's meant to be you two will end up some day, some how. Just never give up.

Miu...am really glad to hear that am not alone in this...and am also happy the both of u are doing fine in this!!! it's tough...but as u said...it can really get magical!!! just keep holding on and never give-up!! the both of u share such a valuable connection, which some ppl may not understand...but that doesn't matter at the moment...as long as ur doing stable together!!!

and Amanda...i really like the way u put ur advice...it's clear and to the point!!! and ppl (like me at the moment) sometimes just need that to-the-point kinda advice!! so keep giving advice girl!!!
and ur absolutely right about "Study hard and don't let your sadness get in the way of your work"..i mean he's actually the one always asking about my studies and stuff!! it's pretty warm!!

WOW...i am so grateful...i mean i really needed to talk this thru with someone who would really understand and compromise (other than him)...and in here...i just found myself comfortably venting about this...and actually getting feedback!! it's amazing!!

just plz..wish the both of us can make it thru those 4 yrs...they seem such a long time for the both of us..but we're actually willing to go thru all this!!! :)

You sound like you are really amazing person, and I'm sure your bf sees that, and I'm more sure he won't give up :)
So for the answer to your topic question I have to say I'm very very sure it's meant to be for two of you! :)

It might be hard 4 years being without him beside you, you might get down and even question him and yourself but remember always what you working so hard for and who has been the most beside you supporting you! :)
If I may ask how long have you guys been in relatsionship?
And also may I suggest during Uni you or him could spend one year studying in same country or another country closer to each other. :)
I hope I'm any help! :)

You can always contact me if you need anyone to talk to:)We are in the same boat! :) It's Amazing to talk to someone who I going through the same thing :)

Miu...Awwww....ur just making me blush now!! ur words are so kind!!! thanks alot!!! i really hope he won't give-up!! we're really going fine at the moment! hope it stays that way!!
and am very glad for ur hope-filled answer!!! i really hope it is meant to be...coz if it is...then ur gonna be the top on my invite list!!!

and ur actually right...4 yrs r a hell of a hard time, but we're managing things at the moment with calls and mail and chat and text msgs and stuff like that!! and we're compromising and understanding the situation...coz we're putting alot of good hope in what tomorrow shall bring to the both of us!!!
i mean we've been going on for like a 2 months now!! i know it doesn't sound like too much yet...but there's always a start!! :) what about u Miu...how long have u been going??

am really glad i found someone like u to talk to!! someone who is in the same boat!!! it truely is amazing to talk to someone who knows how things are going on!!!
Thanks aloott!!! am sure ur of great help!!! :):):)

Aww :)

We have been going out for over 1 year and 9 months now :) The beginning wasn't so nice as yours is like 6 months I was seriously messed up but he always standed beside me and I can't thank him enough for that:)

And I can give a example how a friend from USA came here to live with this girl who he met on Internet and that stuff and they now have a baby and are married :)
But remember it takes looooads of hard work to keep the relationship alive :)

WoooooW...u go gurl...i guess u just hit a world record of LDR!!! great job...keep it up and wishing u all the best!!! keep me updated if there is anything..u know distance has alot of its ups and downs!! but we just gotta hold on there mate!!! we're in the same boat, and we better not make it sink!!!!!

and the example u just gave me is sooo inspiring!!! wow...i hope we land on the same ground they did!!! hehehe..all the best to the both of us!!!

*shakes his head*

chicks...

So i guess u have a different point of view Justin...well i would actually like to know what goes on in a guy's mind in situations like this!!! it will really help!!!
hope u can make me benefit!!!! :)
or is the whole idea not being digested by u (as in a guy's point of interest)???

Just cause I didn't see anything relating to this, I figured I'd ask. Why couldn't you finish up your schooling where you are for the first year, and then go to this other country where he is at?

Because he won't stay in the country he is at either...it's only a matter of time..which is 4 yrs...after that we'll both be somewhere else...it was just the thought of being together these 4 yrs...but i guess it's gonna be LDR

Follow you're heart if you think that he's worth it and want to give him a chance than do it. If it doesn't work out you can always go back home to you're family. Sometymes you have to take risks

"To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing." - unknown

Marissa...i am already in an LDR, the action is taken...now it's the matter of sepnding this tough time away from eachother!!!!
and wooooowww...i just love that quote u wrote up there!!! it's very inspiring!!! thanks alot sweetie!!! :)