What s with my best friend!!!!!!

Hi, I feel a little bit down, I ve talked to my best friend this morning and since then I m so grumpy
I ve had a relationship with a guy since 3 years and I ve broken up with him last September, he loves me but his problem is that he doesn t know how to show his real feeling I ve suffered a bit with him anyway, I ve shared every moment of this relationship with my bfriend,she was with me all the time, she advised me, stayed by my side.
the problem is that my ex wants to get me back but my bfriend opposes strongly to that, she keeps telling me that he is nobody n bad, he doesn t deserve me, he is not handsome and other bad things and she prevents me from having any contact with him n tries by all means to separate us, she makes a lot of pressure on me.
she s never talked to him she has simply seen him and she dindn t like him because he is not handsome at all.
she admits that he loves me but she can t stand him and she keeps making fun of him n that hurts me even though I don t love him.
I can t open up to her or dare telling her that I ll contact him what shall I do?please help

Yeah, you are right, feelings are mixed up inside me,
I know I don't love him but I have a nagging "need"
to get back to him perhaps to take revenge or smth that I can t define right now, it's a great pleasure for me that he still loves me, I feel happy.

You don/t love him leave him out of it. simple as that
^^ like he said she probably doesn't really wanna pick up the pieces.
not to mention you guys broke up... it wasn't a break. u broke up. for a reason. and now u just have to let be a part of the past and meet someone else.

You are right but sometimes I feel like I need him that s why I don t want to let him go I can't really find out what I need from him.

Let him go. Your best friend hates him. When someone tells you something that you don't see, most of the time, they are right. It doesn't sound like you really care for HIM. You care that he cares for you. That's all it is girl, and you will realize that when you get bored with him after two weeks.

^"I can't really find out what I need from him." Dear thats using him and is one of the worst possible things you can do. just let it be over, it is

Yes, I agree with you, I care that he cares for me
thank you, you ve helped me a lot.
I'll see what I can do.

Thank you for your answer I'm so grateful,
with all due respect, I was really shocked by your
words, I think you were so severe.
I do respect your point of you, but you ve judged me so severely.
I'm not a child but sometimes feelings get mixed up inside me and I lose control for a while that's why I needed help.
all of us go through such moments of weakness they are part of our lives we have to acept them and not judge ourselves in a way that degrades us
and hurts us.

I think your anxiety over the issue you have with him is that you were in a 3 year relationship with him. It's hard to go cold turkey when someone used to be everything to you, or at the very least someone who you talked to quite a bit. I think your friend is totally justified in trying to keep you two apart because she most likely knows what'll happen. But I really think that you should ask her to ease up a bit with the comments she makes about him because she is practically forcing you to stick up for him. Because unless you're a cold hearted bitch you most likely have some sort of feeling for this guy that you spent 3 years of your life with. It's just natural. So I think you should listen to you friend as far as not getting back with the guy, but tell her to knock off with the comments, maybe you should stop talking to him gradually so it's not such a shock to you then it'll be a hell of a lot easier to get along with your friend and with him in the long run if you still want a friendship with him.

Thank you for your precious help I m so grateful,
you know emotional matters are a bit complicated so it needs lot of patience and awarness.
I ll think it over and I hope I ll do the right thing,
thanks a lot.

I've been in your bestfriend's shoes. But i think she is handling it to harsh. In my thoughts. she has a point but by your words if all he has done is not able to express his feelings maybe she should chill slightly. Yes a guy who cant fully express his feelings is pretty dumb and low. I'm dealing with one now. But if you say you have feelings for him then you should be able to tell him how you feel. And your friend should let you. Not only is protecting a friend make you a goodfriend but she should also learn that protecting and over protecting are different things.

I belive you should really talk to her and see where she is trying to come from. And also. until you are able not to want to seek a revenge you shouldnt really see him. Its not a need really. Your finding comfort that he still loves you and who wouldnt but if your not going to love him back then his love isnt a comfort

Yes, I think you are right I've been so confused these days that I feel my head is going to explode.
they say the worst thing than being incompetent is to not know who you are and what you want this is exactly my case at present.

Anytime....my PM box is always open if you need anything else:)

"she keeps telling me that he is nobody n bad, he doesn t deserve me, he is not handsome and other bad things and she prevents me from having any contact with him n tries by all means to separate us, she makes a lot of pressure on me."

Yet you say

"she s never talked to him"

So her information must have come from you

His looks are of little consequence, so her harping on them says more of her then it does of him.

"she admits that he loves me but she can t stand him and she keeps making fun of him n that hurts me"

You don't have to love someone to care about them and if she knowingly behaves in this manner, that's not cool, but you let it happen.

"I can t open up to her"

Yet you call her your best friend.

You don't have to open up to someone for them to be your bestfriend always. Their are many things i cant tell my bestfriend but she is still my bestfriend. Somethings you just cant tell alot of people or anyone for that matter.

Maybe she is worried how her friend will react to the topic. Her friend has made her feelings and stated them very loudly. i'd be alittle worried to tell her how i felt also

You shouldn't fear to tell your best friend anything, isn't that why we anoint them with the title? The harshness of her friends reply is the very reason she should speak up, a real friend would not continue on with hurting your feelings or making you uncomfortable, if you let them know that's what they are doing.

Even if I don't want to share everything with my best friend, I know I could.

Yes you are right.
I'll try to put things right.
I love my bestfriend and I do respect her opinion she wants my own good I know.
and for the guy I'll try to make peace with him to free my mind.
thank you a lot for your answers.

I know exactly what you mean.
I've been with my bf for over 2 years and some and a couple of my friends don't approve of him because they don't think he's handsome. But i don't care what they think cause i love him. Hope everything works out for you

You say she doesnt really know him but talks bad about him. yes it could be what you have said makes her feel this way, but how much time do you spend with her as compared to the guy?? if she feels like shes being left out, girls can get jealous and try to keep you out of a realtionship because she was used to you spending all your time with her. and ya know, if she was a really good friend, why would she say all these bad things about someone you care for so much. and if you care for him so much, why would you let her say them?? i didnt see any mention of you trying to defend him, maybe you see these things as well and just dont want to admit it??

Yes you are right !!
you've came up with the best expressions.
thank you for your help it's so kind of you.

Do what u think is right...take ur bfriends comments and try to see what she sees...then make a decision on the new light that has been shead upon him or ur new perspective of him...my dad tells me that "beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder" maybe ur friend doesn't like him but maybe u love him idk but do what is good for u and if it contrudicts what ur bestfriend wants well then try and work things out...,,,best of luck!!